Cut off her mike, the acceptance speech has gotten violent

HOPE had our annual awards show last friday night, and everything went great. Caberet Voiltaire hosted what ended up being half oscars, half razzies, and half drinking. We couldn't be happier and will be delivering the following awards to the winners immediately. Then, once the awards are returned to us, we will melt them down and forge a sword. Just like Dragonslayer.

...and the AWARD GOES TO:

Most HOPELESS Album : Ashlee Simpson -- Autobiography

Remakes that Shouldn't Have Been : The Real Giligans Island

Most HOPEless Book : Confessions of An Heiress - Paris Hilton

Most Unnecessary Product: Britney Spears Perfume

Saddest Decision by Actor to Accept a Role : Dustin Hoffman - Meet the Fockers

Most HOPEless Film : Christmas with the Kranks

Most HOPEless Performer : Paris Hilton

Most Appropriate Comment by an Entertainment Critic :

Over the course of its bloated, nearly 80-minute run time, Snoop Dogg's

self-professed Masterpiece only intermittently comes close to matching

its grandiose title. Then again, the more honest Rhythm & Gangsta: The

Mediocrity just wouldn't have the same ring.



—Nathan Rabin The Onion



To see what HOPE is all about, and to see the complete list of

winners, visit HOPE.