Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment: H.O.P.E. at the Oscars III - The ISA strike Back

 

 

3/02/2005

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars III - The ISA strike Back

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From the Desk of Chris Jackson:

The Independent Spirit Awards are Hollywood's answer to combating major
studio mass marketing campaigns and making the film industry accessible
to everyone. Naturally, you had to know someone or be a celebrity to get
in. I'm sure Tom Brady, in attendance and at a prominently displayed
table, really captured the spirit of Independent film.

After we watched Tom Arnold being treated like Tom Cruise it seemed more possible that these were just a lower budget version of the Oscars and a chance to slap everyone on the back who wasn't getting recognized by the Academy or couldn't get a ticket for the show.

Special agent Catch, working from the inside, helped Kid Protocol and
myself get in to this tightly guarded affair.

Once at the awards it was a goldmine. We were faced with three options
when we got in:

1. Drink, eat, and watch the awards,

2. Try get on stage as a part of someone's posse and unfurl a sign

3. Take advantage of the multitude of oblivious celebs and make the
people's voice heard with hand held signs.

Of course, we wanted to go for the hat trick, but we felt taking the risk of getting booted wasn't worth losing out on the other two options, so we focused on getting our pics. We had three variety of signs, and applied them as we saw fit:

I am Horrified:
Tom Arnold, Jessica Simpson, Jen Tilly

Hollywood, Congratulations, you're the greatest. Love, Hollywood:
Zach Braff, Jodie Foster, Thomas Hayden Church, David Duchovony

There is Hope:
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Laura Linney, Tom Brady, Michael McKean

Thomas Hayden Church summed up the evening for me. After we got our
picture with him, we asked if he was going to the after party at
Shutters. He responded swiftly and decisively. "Hell no! I'm just a guy from
Texas. I don't get into that kind of Hollywood bullshit."

To me, this was cool if only it had ended there. But wait, there's more... THC continued on talking about how phoney Hollywood is, and in contrast, how real he is, in such a ridiculous over the top way that by the time he was done all I could think was that this was some kind of persona his publicist concocted to distinguish him as a rebel Hollywood outsider ala Billy Bob Thorton.

When I looked down and saw the dirty work boots he was wearing with his very expensive designer suit, it sealed the deal for me. It wasn't an affectation of Hillary Swank or Jewel proportions, but it did just seem a bit much to hear such vitriol out of the man who starred in George of the Jungle 2.
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