Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment: H.O.P.E. at the Oscars II

 

 

3/01/2005

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars II

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From the Desk of Chris Jackson:

Normally, we don't comment on things as meaningless as celebrity sightings and parties, but since there are now countless hours of "coverage" of these events that are being presented to the public as entertainment/news, we feel it is our duty to let the public know the truth.

Friday Night --

K.P. and myself with operatives Brianna Biltmore, Shauwna Smith, and Krystal Light attended two Oscar parties. The first was a fashion show at Prey nightclub with Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, and Bruce Willis expected to attend.

The second was Hailey Duff's birthday party at Concorde. Both scenes resembled bad music videos : the first was like Paris Hilton's vision of "cool" (circa 1998) , the second was more along the lines of an underage night club, only with Andy Dick prominantly involved.

There were literally crowds of people trying to get in despite long wait lines for drinks, no complementary food, women with fake everything, and overheard lines like "My greatest fear is my agent doesn't recognize how intelligent I really am." Good thing your nightly newscast takes time out to mention that the "star studded" parties in Hollywood are happening.

If this is your idea of glamour or a good time: go to the noisiest, cheesiest, and most crowded club in the town nearest you, double the amount of people to make sure there's no room to dance or drink, and stand there with your friends for three hours. In lieu of entertainment, you can occasionally see a celebrity, although they will not see you. Sound like fun?

Around 1:00 we couldn't take it anymore and cut out to go to a dive bar in Silver Lake to get drunk, play pool, and listen to the jukebox.

Tomorrow: H.O.P.E. Attends the Independant Spirit Awards and
Katzenburg Party at the Beverly Hills Hotel

p.s. Check out the Wookie to the left of Kid Protocol.