Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment

HOPE Tracts : In a City Near You

2006-02-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

H.O.P.E. has begun distributing informative tracts in cities across the United States. Feel free to download and print your own to distribute.

H.O.P.E.: Bringing Music to the Masses

2005-10-17T04:50:00.000-07:00

We believe when the public spends their hard earned dollars, they are entitled to know what they are spending it on. To this end, H.O.P.E. is working on having legislation introduced that calls for a full disclosure when lip-synching or miming will be performed at any live musical performance.

Misrepresenting a sale is fraud. The only thing that has kept it from being classified as such by the government for this long is the deep pockets media conglomerates and entities like Clear Channel and Ticketmaster who feel the need to protect the substandard products they're peddling from actually singing.

The voice of the people (and the performers we are paying to see) will be heard. The great men and women of the H.O.P.E. Creighton chapter will be heading this fight, and Music for America is on board pledging their support. More to come...

The Truth in Music Proposition -- Full Disclosure on All Lip-Synching and Miming

Live concerts are meant to be exactly that: live. If, however, a performer believes the best possible show for their audience involves lip-synching or miming to pre-recorded tracks, we simply ask for full disclosure to allow the public to decide if this is the kind of entertainment they want to see.

We are asking for a disclosure notice on all advertisements and promotional tools including but not limited to: fliers, TV, print, and radio ads. A disclosure label is to be placed on tickets as well. Additionally, an announcement is to be made before the performance stating the show the audience is attending is not entirely live and will involve lip-synching and miming.

Failure to report these acts of deception would force the promoters to face fines upwards of $50,000, as well as lose their event licenses. The concert venue would be forced to refund all profits from the fraudulent show (to be distributed amongst ticket holders), and artists found guilty of the defrauding of their fans would forfeit their incomes from the show.

H.O.P.E. on Campus... The Students of Creighton Hear the Call!

2005-10-04T15:44:00.000-07:00

H.O.P.E. is very proud to welcome an official on-campus chapter at Creighton University as the charge has been taken up by chapter president Josh Potter (pictured left) and vice president Andrew Bowles. These outstanding leaders of men have big plans for their chapter and will spearhead the upcoming H.O.P.E. Lip Synch Disclosure Law campaign.

An article from the Creighton paper by Matt VanEpps:

As much as Ashlee Simpson would like to forget the Saturday Night Live lip-sync debacle from 2004, the American public won’t let her.

In fact, it is the mission of the organization H.O.P.E. (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) to ensure that the average citizen will never be subjected to such a catastrophe ever again.

According to the organization’s website, “H.O.P.E.'s goal is to bring quality to the world of entertainment while working outside of the traditional network, record label, and studio structure.” Bands which are trying to make a name for themselves have a lot of trouble entering the oversaturated market, whereas celebrities such as Hilary Duff and Paris Hilton have released albums without any discernable musical talent.

“We really support artists who write their own music,” vice president Andrew Bowles said. “A lot of the nation is put up to having to listen to [Ashlee Simpson].”

To broaden the average listener’s horizons, H.O.P.E. offers a CD exchange, offering “higher entertainment quality” music, such as Elvis Costello, Aretha Franklin or Ray Charles, in exchange for the current “hits” from the Simpson sisters, Nick Lachey and Britney Spears.
At the local level, Josh Potter, president and founder of the Creighton chapter, wants to increase awareness about what is art and what is not. Since the Omaha entertainment scene is highly regarded nationally, it serves as a breeding ground for artistic integrity, according to Potter, who intends to keep it that way.

Potter wanted to establish a chapter in Omaha after his aunt saw the national president, Chris Jackson, talk about it on television about a year ago. Potter’s aunt thought it would be “right up his alley.”

So after several months of bargaining with the Student Activities Office, H.O.P.E. is now an official Creighton student organization. “Program Board doesn’t need a monopoly. Our role is to augment that programming,” Potter said.

In addition to educating the general consumer, H.O.P.E. also protests large media conglomerates such as Viacom and Clear Channel, which have been allowed by the Telecommunications Act of 1995. These media monopolies have such a stronghold on the market that they can release music and movies of low quality because it will not make a negative impact on their profits if no one buys them.

Potter suggests writing letters to local government officials, urging them to take a closer look at this legislation. He said that breaking up these conglomerates will instill competition in the media and, in essence, make everyone try harder. “People are starting to question the media,” Potter said.

Holding the media accountable is something that people have started to pick up on, thanks to Ashlee Simpson and Fox News, but there is a lot of progress to be made. In China, a Lip Sync Disclosure Law is being considered, which would make lip-syncing illegal. That would not be likely to pass in America, but a more realistic option would be a warning on concert tickets, letting consumers know that the possibility of lip-syncing exists.

As far as plans at Creighton, Potter already has a few ideas, even though the group is still in its fledgling stages. “We’re kind of hibernating first semester,” Potter said. “We have a lot of masters to please.”

The main event H.O.P.E. has planned is a benefit concert which would give the “gift of music” to local high school music programs, Potter said. Other proposed programs include an “Ethics in Media Forum,” in which selected Creighton philosophy and journalism professors, along with Omaha musicians, would dialogue with Creighton students about the state of the media in the 21st century; and a Musicians Festival, which would let singers and songwriters showcase their talents on a Friday afternoon on the mall. “It’s going to give a different perspective,” Bowles said.

Two informational meetings later in the semester will give students to get a closer look at what H.O.P.E. is, while also letting them give their opinions of what Omaha needs. “H.O.P.E.’s goal is to facilitate movement once the seeds of discontent are planted,” Potter said. “H.O.P.E. is all about alternatives.”

H.O.P.E. on Henry's Film Corner

2005-09-15T01:32:00.000-07:00

Great news for fans of H.O.P.E.:

Champion of the arts Henry Rollins is celebrating our mission this month on his show on IFC. Check the link below for info on times and dates. And while you're there you can click on "Watch Henry's Video Clips" to see the H.O.P.E. feature. It's the second clip.

link

Do Not Watch Mind of Mencia

2005-09-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

From our member D.H. Miller

It's not that becuase Carlos Mencia is crude, offensive and annoying (he is) that I want his show ("Mind of Mencia" on Comedy Central) off of the air; it is instead because it is both not funny and completely false advertising.

I would have expected more from the network that brings us great shows such as Reno 911, The Daily Show, South Park and Chappelle's Show (R.I.P.), but I guess Viacom needed a new hit so badly that they decided to get a no-name like Menica to host a show eerily similar in format and structure to Dave Chappelle's masterpiece.

Carlos Mencia, as IMDB.com will tell you, is not, as he would lead you to believe, Mexican. Carlos Mencia is actually half-Honduran and half-German, therefore making him NOT a "beaner" and eliminating the five 5 minutes of his show's premiere. In fact, his real name is not even 'Carlos Mencia,' it's Ned Holness! It turns out (and I'm not making this up, although it sounds like something out of a Chappelle's Show sketch) that the owner of the Comedy Store (located in Los Angeles) decided that Ned's name needed to (and I quote) "sound more Mexican," so he came up with a new name for poor Ned, the fake-Mexican, half-German, horrible comedian.

It is one thing to be offensive, I have no problem with people being offensive. Daniel Tosh is one of my favorite comedians and I'm surprised how successfull he has been since his entire act alienates most of the audience at one point or another. Ned "Carlos Mencia" Holness is offensive for the sake of being offensive and never seems to back it up with any decent jokes or observations. His comparing the present racial tensions with Arabs in America to Blacks in America could have been insightful if he didn't constantly use the name "Achmed" and describe the situation with the analogy "it's like a game of tag!" No, racism is not a game of tag "Carlos" and no joke should last more than 1 minute, let alone 5!!! When Dave Chappelle commented on racism, he did it cleverly and inventively, when Ned "Carlos Mencia" Holness does it, he rocks around like a drunked frat boy and describes how much he dislikes "Achmed" with a disturbingly glazed look in his eye.

The jab at Chappelle's show in the opening scene would have been funny if it didn't come off as Viacom acting like a spoiled second grader who got angry because another kid wouldn't share his cool new PSP game. Everything about the premiere had an undercurrent of anger and malice that poisoned the show. "Carlos" isn't funny as much as is he belligerent. "Mind of Mencia" needs to be kicked of the air, because it exactly the sort of pedestrian entertainment that your group fights against. For being unneccesarily offensive without being funny, for pretending to be something that he is not, for even attempting to take the place of the genius, Dave Chappelle,
"Carlos Mencia" needs to be kicked off the air and return doing voiceovers for "The Proud Family" on the Disney Channel, where horrible entertainers belong.

Sincerely,
D.H. Miller (a proud supporter of the H.O.P.E. cause)

---------------->UPDATE<------------------------

The IMDB profile for Carlos Mencia has been changed to downplay the Nedness of his name. Half-German isn't even there anymore. This may have something to do with the following sites making reference to the embarassing profile:

aint it cool
rabon rant
amazon reviews
jambar

Want more? Just do a google search for Ned Holness .

H.O.P.E. PSAs

2005-09-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

A Very Special H.O.P.E. message...

As a service to the public at large, H.O.P.E. is releasing a series of public service announcements to be played on Dickie Barrett's morning radio show on Indie 103.1 in Los Angeles. The series of spots will serve as warnings about upcoming movies, music, and television as well as to inform listeners of H.O.P.E.'s mission. The first spots target media consolidation, The Man, and the abysmal Mind of Mencia.

http://www.indie1031.fm/main.html

and the Winner Is. . . . .

2005-07-31T09:12:00.000-07:00

You may remember our recent ( in the geological sense ) contest about defacing the Ryan Seacrest star that was embarassing the Hollywood walk of fame. We did not realize we would be so overwhelmed with responses, especially during the organizational campaign for 2005. So it took us a little longer than we expected to choose a winner.

There were many great poop pictures, and some very random shots that we're not sure exactly what they mean, and a few "E" for effort entries. In the end, however, there was one clear winner. Matt Curtin attempted to re-sell the Ryan Seacrest star to the next highest bidder. After receiving his images, we went out and got Matt to stage an impromptu auction at his "sidewalk sale"... footage of which will be seen in the H.O.P.E. documentary.

Big Bird : Soon Brought To You By Viacom Ltd.

2005-06-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

There is one place where advertising dollars and media consolidation can not impede the progress of good ideas, and can not drag programming quality into the craphole. The Corporation for Public Broadcasting uses federal dollars to fund public broadcasters, who in turn give us Civil War documentaries and Nova. Seriously, however, the public broadcasters (including NPR) are widely seen as one of the few unbiased sources of news information.

This one place exists because the government decided that instead of selling all the broadcast real estate out there, that they would hold onto a tiny little bit and fill it with programming without a money trail. So what's the problem?

The Republican chairman of the House Appropriations subcommittee on labor, health, and human services says that there is a liberal bias in CPB's programming choices. Because of this, he wants to dramatically slash the CPB funding over the next two years.

While we at H.O.P.E. are non-partisan, we will simply say that to axe the CPB for any reason is a terrible idea. Further cuts place our news-watching options in the hands of a smaller group, and eliminates a trusted source of news (especially foriegn news.)

Here is a nice way to influence the upcoming votes.

Here is an excellent history/writeup of the debate so far.

Here is an easy way to call your senator and influence this upcoming vote

Paris Hilton : Pre-Retired-Ish

2005-06-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

Paris Hilton is going to stop making terrible entertainment, which would be a major victory except that it won't happen for "two years".

Can you imagine if you got hit by a bus tomorrow, or six months from now, or (God Forbid) 23 months from now? You would be smashed with the last months of your life ruined, and with the end of the tunnel in sight.

link

Gearing Back up . . .

2005-06-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

H.O.P.E. is back on the air.

Sort of.

After spending the last few weeks speaking with organizers and pundits of like-minded causes, H.O.P.E. has managed to get our collective acts together. Posting is going to be down to one or two a week, tops.

This is not a sign of weakness, and H.O.P.E. has never been stronger. The website will be relaunched shortly with our own hosting and new features. Membership will be addressed in a more comprehensive manner and our enemies will be destroyed. We will drink their tears from a golden chalice, and become drunk off their sorrow.

In the meantime, remember how Paris Hilton is a celebrity? We know that not everyone on the television has to be penning The Great American Novel in their spare time, but is this lady for real?

link

The Revenge of the Minister

2005-05-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

The Minister of Information would like to extend to all regular readers here, both good and bad news:

The Good: Everything at H.O.P.E. is solid and there are several big campaigns and partnerships we're just about finished hammering out. There is a redesign of the website on the way, as well as serious membership content and privilages.

The Bad: These sort of things don't grow on trees. We need to scale down our blogging (even more than our current scaled-back state) in order to devote more time to pertinent H.O.P.E. missions and problems. So it sucks, but that's how it's going to be.

Fight On!

FOX : Casting New Idiots

2005-05-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

What a suprise. Someone is trying to cash in on the success of American Idol...

The mediocre show that humilates poor singers and propels the good singers into terrible acting roles has a new imitation. The strange thing is that the new imitation is from the same network.

FOX is casting for dancers to be on a new dancing reality show that has people dance instead of sing. Dance dance dance! While making fun of people badly dancing in a nightclub is sometimes fun, this show promises to be nothing of the sort.

FOX, you got served!

David Crosby : Right On!

2005-05-10T12:19:00.000-07:00

The Minister isn't sure if he could pick David Crosby's music out of a lineup, but he is sure that David Crosby's interview fron Frontline is great. In it Crosby traces his path through the music industry, and specifically is called on to point out when it changed. His insight into the way musicians are treated by their labels is a unique one, and worth reading. An excerpt (with the interviewer in bold):

… I'd like to know the nature of a deal, a record deal. You don't have to be specific about the money if you don't want to be, but it would be interesting to know about recoupment, how it works, how much money you guys would get at the beginning, and how long would it would take you to get it back. …

A record [label] is essentially two things. It's essentially a vendor and a bank. What they do, in terms of working with artists, the old days -- and still to this day, to some degree -- is they give you the money to make the record, for which they charge you what amounts to a million percent interest. They give you the money to make the record, but when they get the record, then they own it and they do everything they can to cheat. Everything. Recoupment.

They'll try to cross-collateralize it to everything you ever made. So if they don't succeed with this record, they can hold up your royalties on everything else you've ever done, to recoup. They try to get some of your publishing if they possibly can. Of course, we don't give it to them. They try to be able to sell your stuff in packages. In other words, take pieces of your album, put them with other people's pieces, and make package albums. We try not to let them do that. They try to only pay you publishing on 10 end songs, which means, if you had 13 songs, you can't put the other three on because they won't pay you.

I think one of the most glaring examples of what they do wrong is they cheat as a matter of policy on paying, because they know that you'll have to, first, hire an accountant and audit them. Then, when you get the audit figure, and they owe you $486,000, they'll offer you 30 percent, 30 cents on the dollar in settlement, knowing full well that you'll ask for 100 percent and that you'll settle somewhere around 50. The other 50 percent is free money. They knew it going in. They intended to do it from the beginning, so that they could get the other 50 percent for free. Hence, just a little bonus thing, thank you very much, and it's from heaven. And they do it, and it's totally dishonest. And they all do it. And they do it as a matter of policy. They know they're going to cheat, going in. …

Courtney Love : Crazed and Correct

2005-05-09T12:31:00.000-07:00

So Courtney Love is a pretty polarizing figure in music. Whether you love or hate on her, you should check out this rambling tirade that she just put together over at Salon.

The problem with recommending this link, however, is the fact that she clearly either dictated the whole thing or had an epileptic editor do the final revision. It threatens to spin out of control at several points, and she has the annoying habit of making every paragraph one or two sentences long.

There are some interesting breakdowns that she makes of money in the industry, as well as insight as to how poorly artists are treated in nearly every aspect of the process. There are also lines like "You funny dot-communists. Get your shit together, you annoying sucka VCs" heading up paragraphs. So, eh...this is worth reading, but with big heaping grains of "shut up already."

War (of the Worlds) is Hell...

2005-05-06T02:16:00.000-07:00

Featured E-mail of the Week:

Dear H.O.P.E.

I love your campaigns, however, I feel that you are missing an important aspect: classic books being remade as movies. Let me rephrase that: being remade as crap movies. Crap movies with Dakota Fanning and Tom Cruise.

I beg you to help alert people of the impending doom that is War of the Worlds. Stephen Spielberg has transformed what was a philosophical story about life on other planets into another blockbuster blow-em-up movie. Please help spread the word that just because moviemakers can't think of new plots, doesn't mean they're allowed to sodomize good books.

Read the original! It's better, I promise--

Julia

Sometimes the World Needs to Laugh

2005-05-05T00:14:00.000-07:00

Busy day at the offices as we're gearing up for summer campaigns and sorting through Ryan Seacrest poo photos.

However, there's always time to pass along a link many of you will most certainly appreciate.

American Idol Revolution

2005-05-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

American Idol is popular and absurdly profitable. Unfortunately for the makers of this substandard Star-Search knock-off, there are also millions and millions of people that don't simply not watch the show - they actively don't like it and are sick of hearing about it. We aren't against things simply for being popular, but we are against the absurd propagation that shows like this are receiving. Tune into CNN.com the morning after an American Idol episode and the newest "not ready for primetime player" is featured like a real news item.

Some very clever people have decided to strike back against American Idol in a superbly interesting manner. They have been getting huge groups of people to call in and vote repeatedly...for the worst contestant available. This has allowed Scott Savol to enter the final 3, despite being wildly untalented and hated by the "judges".

Meanwhile, we've got other networks gearing up shows to specifically slam American Idol, as if it wasn't about to collapse under its own weight. So who kills American Idol first? Regardless of the outcome, we'll all be winners.

--UPDATE--

It seems votefortheworst has ceased to exist as a webpage, and their knight Scott Savol got voted off. The powers that be have nipped this one in the bud, folks.

Paris Hilton : Bloody Disgusting

2005-05-01T01:39:00.000-07:00

Paris Hilton in House of Wax. Why not Britney Spears in a remake of The Thing while we're at it? With luck, the Ashlee Simpson vehicle Motel Hell will be out in 2006. Why is H.O.P.E. upset? Let us count the ways:

1. Remaking a classic movie for no good reason.
2. No, scratch that. Making a crappy new movie and naming it after a classic horror flick. ( You dare suggest that it doesn't affect the original? Why don't you name your babies after famous Nazis and see if people don't make the connection. )
3. Paris Hilton continues to star
4. Paris Hilton enters another field of entertainment, despite failing at each she has entered in the past ( aside from internet porn and television shows that make fun of her )
5->infinity : Paris Hilton blows someone on the internet, and now she's NEVER EVER EVER going away without your help.

link

Everyone Loves Ryan Seacrest

2005-04-29T01:21:00.000-07:00

H.O.P.E. 's Chris Jackson and Hahu Lemon will be doing live radio today at 5:00 from the Ryan Seacrest star in Los Angeles. You can hear them on KPFK. Come join their effort to right this terrible wrong.

A sampling of quotes RE: Seacrest Star:

Note: Although these quotes are meant to be cute and funny, please read them as if they are completely serious to gauge how everyone really feels about this disgraceful situation.

-- "Listen, Simon," Randy Jackson said to Cowell during their ceremonial speech. "What would we say about this day?"

"Ill-deserved," the famously grumpy Cowell replied, dryly. "I cannot believe that April the 20th is going to be Ryan Seacrest Day. I am officially taking this day off my diary."

-- Seacrest, 30, a 15-year radio veteran, confessed, "I remember getting up this morning at 3:30 a.m. on my way in to do the morning show, and I thought, `One person is going to come today.' ... I thought this would be the most unpopular star dedication ever."

-- After the ceremony Seacrest told AP Television News, "I actually thought it was a joke when I heard that they were going to do this."

Celebrity Worship : Want More?

2005-04-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

Do you think there are enough magazines out there that talk about celebrities? How about one that isn't so nasty like Star, but still mindless and celebrity obsessed. No, no, it's not People, it is actually a whole new magazine that's devoted to telling you how celebrities are living.

The most ironic part is that these same celebrities sit around their mansions reading about how middle-class people live and keep their homes clean. Wait, they don't?

link

Media : Trust No One

2005-04-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

So right now you can listen to songs on the radio that have product placement inserted into them, you can watch right-wing pundits praise the administration for backstage cash, and you can read technology reviews of new gadgets from people that were paid to like them.

What's missing? Maybe you could go to the park and feed some ducks that sing the Pepsi jingle, and then go look at the thousand-mile wide trench that they'll dig into the moon to promote Lil' Jon's new album. There is a reason that no media is trusted anymore, and it is because nearly everyone has decided that selling out is more important than the merits of truth/decency.

( No, we're not a bunch of hippies that are angry at rock stars that "sell out" so they can move out of their parents' house. Selling out is abandoning both your message and the reason you exist so that whoever has cash can get their way. )

While we at H.O.P.E. may not always be individually truthful nor decent (There's a rumor a member dowloaded some songs illeagaly in '98), our movement is. We exist to expose the reasons behind bad entertainment, and to take on the symptoms one at a time. And to anyone that thinks they can buy us?

:
From: elsewhen@rushpost.com
Date: Apr 21, 2005 12:34 PM
Subject: RE: Craigslist, get paid to blog
To: Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment

hello,

very cool blog, and good design too.

thanks for responding to the craigslist posting about getting paid for
a blog entry. here are all the details.

just to be clear... i am paying you to blog about and post a link to a particular page. you are not required to be particularly upbeat, but please do not be overly negative. you are also welcome to be completely ambivalent, but please do not mention that you are being paid to write about it... just be natural and make a normal blog entry.

in any case, it is the link and the mention that i am interested in, and by following up on this offer, you are agreeing to keep the link in your blog, and not delete the link at some point in the future. the link should be a clickable link, and not just the web address.

you are welcome to make a posting about any of the links provided below and i will pay $5. if you have another blog, you are welcome to send that to me, but i will have to review it to make sure that it matches with one of the sites that i manage. if you want a second $5, you can make a second posting after at least one week - it can be about a different topic.

once you have the blog posting up, send me an email with the address of the posting so i can check it, and also please provide your the email address you use for paypal (if you dont have one, it can be any email address)... i will pay right after i check your site, and as long as the conditions listed above are met. i run lots of websites, but i think some of the articles on wisegeek match with your site best... here are the pages that i think fit best with your blog:

www.wisegeek.com/what-is-pop-art.htm
www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-meme.htm
www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-meme.htm
www.wisegeek.com/what-are-urban-legends.htm
www.wisegeek.com/what-are-urban-legends.htm
http://www.wisegeek.com/who-was-vlad-the-impaler.htm

if blogging about any of these things seems unnatural, you can take a look around the site to find something else... but please, let me know first.

thanks,

denis"

Yeah, so we sure could have used that twenty dollars, but sometimes you've got to get all Karate Kid and stop taking shit. Ethically, are we supposed to not reveal this guy's e-mail address? Should we have changed his name to a little XXXX? Should we waste another minute in moral debate over someone with little to no morals?

Seacrest.: OUT

2005-04-25T02:17:00.000-07:00

Many of you giddily e-mailed asking about the seriousness and details of our offer last Friday regarding the "Ryan Seacrest Star Tribute Contest." Rest assured, it's real.

Here are the official particulars:

The Ryan Seacrest Star is on 6801 Hollywood Blvd - near Highland

From now until the end of May we are offering a prize package to the best picture submission that "pays tribute" to Ryan's star. There are no guidelines as to how to do such, but a premium will be put on humor and creativity when selecting the winner. However, a dump truck full of poo placed on the star will work in lieu of these qualities.

Prize Package:

2 H.O.P.E. T-Shirts
3 CDs from a list of choices
2 tickets to the Cabaret Voltaire in Los Angeles
2 Neil Hamburger tickets to an upcoming show in your area
A special "Profile in Courage" on http://www.hopeinamerica.com/, an interview for the H.O.P.E. documentary as well as on the H.O.P.E. radio show.

E-mail your submissions to:

hopeinamerica@gmail.com

God speed, soldiers of H.O.P.E. ...

link

Good Lord

2005-04-21T05:45:00.000-07:00

From the desk of Chris Jackson:
We received the following e-mail yesterday from a concerned citizen.

I'm not sure if these things were ever awarded on merit, but it was kind of thrilling on my first visit to Hollywood to see the names of great entertainers like Fred Astaire, Ingrid Bergman and one of my favorites, comedienne Zasu Pitts.

I don't think this particular gentleman will get the same reaction 50 (even 5?) years from now:

link

Keep up the good work.

Rosemarie

Had we only known sooner, action could have been brought at the actual event. We strongly encourage anyone in the Los Angeles area to make a mockery of this ridiculous "achievment" by finding Seacrest's star and... well, be creative. The top picture submission after one month wins a free H.O.P.E. t-shirt, two tickets to the Cabaret Voltaire in Los Angeles, and a CD from a wide variety of selections.

The Omen

2005-04-20T05:29:00.000-07:00

From H.O.P.E. Board Member Michelle James:

I really sat down and tried to come up with something to say about the link we're presenting today. I really did. But everytime I tried to type I couldn't do it justice.

So without ruining it for you, all I will say is this: We may have just found a new public enemy #1 at H.O.P.E.

link

At least it's not "Battle Bots"

2005-04-19T00:26:00.000-07:00

From H.O.P.E. Board Member Greg Johnson:

There's a hideous new scam show on Comedy Central called "CON," hosted
by a camera-mugging faux-slob hipster with lots of "extreme 'tude"--but
the real "con" is on anyone unfortunate enough to watch the show in
search of an entertaining half-hour. The premise of the show is that a
guy with "no money" and absolutely "no connections" will use his guile
to con all sorts of Los Angeles folks out of valuable things for the TV
viewer's amusement. On one recent episode, our smug mastermind calls a
pizza parlor and--get this!--actually pretends that they got his order
wrong (!!!), after which the operator cheerfully agrees to send a
complimentary pizza to his house. This is entertainment?

But the centerpiece of the episode was an extended "con" in which the
protagonist promises that he will trick three models into cleaning his
friend's filthy apartment for NO COST. He advertises for models for a
photo shoot, and then tells three gullible female applicants that
they've got the job.

Upon arrival, they are met by a professional make-up artist, a full wardrobe of skimpy lingerie, and an arsenal of high-grade lighting and photographic equipment. Our "devious" host shoots plenty of photos of the girls thoroughly cleaning the toilets, bathtub, kitchen, etc., while occasionally retiring to the corner with his tiny erection to pitifully stifle his gleeful giggling.

When the cleaning is complete, he rewards the girls and his crew with a
personalized cake, presumably baked in honor of his 150th photo shoot.
The problem is of course, that the cost of hiring professional
photographic equipment and a make-up artist would far exceed the cost of
simply bringing in a maid for a few hours to get the job done--not to
mention the cost of the giant personalized cake, the model's outfits,
etc. Yet the opening sequence proudly boasts that our host has
absolutely "no money" and "no connections"...so how is he paying for all
this?

Another problem is that he hasn't "conned" these girls at
all--they've now received prized national TV exposure for themselves and
their nearly-naked bodies, which is certainly more than they ever
expected when they took the sketchy no-pay photo-shoot job. The show is
CONsiderably more stupid and boring than we could ever CONvince you in a
few sentences, and how this dud ever slipped through Comedy Central's
supposedly stringent Quality CONtrol department is beyond us.

TMOI adds:

This show blows The Minister's mind. Why not have a show about a guy that is "of only average strength but can knock down buildings" and then have this guy hire a construction crew to demolish anything he wants. How amazing!!! How did he smash that wall with only his bare fists and that wrecking ball!?

H.O.P.E. on Campuseacher

2005-04-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

Part of what H.O.P.E. is doing is establishing chapters on campus at colleges around the country. It's easy to see why with students across the country like Cal State Northridge's Mathew Singer. Check out his great article for his school paper that summarizes the history of H.O.P.E. and really captures the tone of the organization.

If you're interested in starting a chapter on your campus, contact Mollie Blaine at hopeinamerica@gmail.com

Also, you'll see H.O.P.E's plan for an upcoming "Summer Blockbuster."

link

It's Never too Early....

2005-04-15T01:00:00.000-07:00

From H.O.P.E. Secretary of the Interior, Jingo Lemon:

Are you as scared as we are that when Conan's late night slot opens in '09 there's going to be a battle royale of boredom between bland show biz trouper Carson Daly and a groveling Craig Kilborn? Of course you are. Well, there's one man who is ready to do something about it: Onion writer Joe Garden. Joe has started a campaign to lay his stake to Conan's late night job. We at H.O.P.E. do not endorse anyone based on entertainment value, but we are all for Joe's effort to democratize late night. We encourage anyone with an artistic vision to bring their message directly to the people and that's what Joe is doing.

One of the biggest problems with the entertainment industry is the way decisions are made regarding talent and the difficulty for people not already in the system to gain access. Great talent of all varieties is frozen out as an ugly mix of cookie-cutter people with family members, friends, and neighbors in the business as well as those who schmooze, run in the right social circles, or buy their way in are given ample opportunity to fail and fail again.

If you're looking for proof that we're not going to find the best actors, writers and singers by choosing from this small group of people look no further than the damning evidence: the final products foisted on an increasingly disinterested public. It's with this in mind, that we continue to urge the public to reject bad entertainment and to stand up and make their voice heard.

link

Ashlee Simpson Show Accurately Displays Her Orange Bowl Performance

2005-04-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

No, ha ha ha. Not really. Her show just totally glossed over how she's terrible and was booed off stage. Her earpiece wasn't working (although her acid-reflux was in check) and so she screwed up and was booed.

So ok, they told half the story and failed to mention that her singing was awful like usual and that everyone hates her. While we don't expect artists to go out of their way to publicize their blunders, this show is supposed to be about her "career" and "life" and is apparently just a half-hour ad for Simpson Incorporated.

Joe Simpson, go to hell.

link

Warner on the Run

2005-04-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

Warner Music group got SERVED! No, really, literally they got served. Last week (well... march 31st) Warner Music got served yet another subpoena by Eliot Spitzer. He's been trying to get to the bottom of pay-for-play systems that currently allow music companies to ruin radio.

Do you wonder why there is little diversity and so much garbage on the radio? Look no further than this system. Here at H.O.P.E. we give our support to Mr. Spitzer, with the hope that his findings can make a difference.

link

Spears and Federline Continue Efforts to Ruin World

2005-04-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

There's much to say about the upcoming Spears/Federline reality show on UPN beyond suggesting you go to H.O.P.E.'s Stop Britney website. If you were capable of reading the first sentence, you'll know why.

Does UPN just play exquisite corpse in order to make their shows? Like, do they have a board meeting where everyone puts an idea in the hat and they pull out 3 to make a show out of? Britney and Kevin in a new version of Nick and Jessica, only on a smaller budget and all white-trashed out. Great! Shoot it!

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty disgusted with the FCC. They fine people for saying "fuck" but they're cool with this??

link

The History of Why You Brag About "Not Even Owning a T.V."

2005-04-11T01:13:00.000-07:00

T.V., at least free T.V., is basically worthless. There are gems here and there, but certainly not diamonds in the rough- its more like finding a quarter in the rough. Why, though?

We've discussed the perfect storm that's been created by the Telecommunications Act, poor Legislation, rabid lobbying, the death of the Fairness Doctrine, Michael Powell, and corporate consolidation. Today's link is the most comprehensive run-through of the history and issues that face us today.

We can give it no higher recommendation.

link

Mc Rap : Beatboxing With a Fat Layrnx

2005-04-08T01:53:00.000-07:00

Mc Donalds is putting out big bucks to get the Big Mac into rap songs. They're trying to be the next "Pass the Courvoisier", only about crappy burgers not delicious, delicious alcohol. They're talking about paying rappers 1-5 dollars, per play...which is a whole hell of a lot of money with the 15 song rotations that most Clear Channel stations keep.

Once upon a time, you would turn on the radio and hear a good artist that a local DJ chose. This song, in turn, would have been written by an artist about something they wanted to express. Even if that sentiment was wanting to Mazzoom a zoom zoom in the Boom Boom, it was from the artist.

Now, you will turn on your radio to hear a station owned and operated by a giant conglomorate from "elsewhere". They will decide what you listen to by focus-grouping down to find the songs that will attract the most people in whatever demographic they're marketing their money to. They will have license to abuse YOUR airwaves in this manner given to them by your elected government.

Now, worst of all, those focus-grouped songs will also have advertising interjected mid-chorus for your listening pleasure.

Have you vomited yet?

link and link

Hollywood Star Pt 2281

2005-04-07T01:00:00.000-07:00

Sandra Bullock (Speed 2, 28 Days, Murder by Numbers), just got a star on the Hollywood Walk of fame, not because she deserves it - but instead because she has a new movie coming out. Does this make anyone besides us sick?

Yeah, a Hollywood star isn't the Nobel Peace Prize, but are the institutions of the past worth nothing? We all know craftsmanship got vanished about twenty years ago, but is nobility next? The Oscars are bought every year (That means you, Weinstein), and they're giving away stars on the walk of fame. Is there no taboo left in Hollywood? Is Jimmy Fallon going to take a big dump on the next Red Carpet he walks down? Is nothing sacred?

link

Ashlee Simpson : Don't Forget

2005-04-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Been wondering about the responses from our Ashlee Simpson Pledge? We've been following her tour across the United States and have received a level of response that even suprises our jaded eyes. We've had members at 20 of her tour stops, and have had 2380 pledges signed and turned/mailed in. Interested in the results? After each statement is the percentage of Ashlee Fans that agreed.

Ashlee Simpson is the best singer ever! 26%

Ashlee Simpson is a better singer than weird old people like Joni Mitchell and Elvis Costello because she's made more money and sold more albums. 39%

Ashlee Simpson is another in a long line of punk rock artists following in the footsteps of Blink 182 and Good Charlotte and deserves to be treated with the same respect. 42%

Ashlee Simpson was correct to blame her band for the mistakes made on SNL. 18%

I don't care that a lot of performers lip synch! Being able to sing well doesn't factor in to who I like! 39%

Acid reflux is a serious condition that impaired Ashlee Simpson on SNL. People making light of it do not understand this, and her inability to sing well live, were her sole reasons for lip synching. 42%

I think it is unimportant that Ashlee Simpson is famous purely because of her sister's fame and AOL Time Warner's marketing campaign. 45%

While her record label may pay radio stations a lot of money to play her songs, in my opinion this does not reflect on her music or the demand for it. 34%

Ashlee Simpson's lack of talent should not subject her to cruel treatment by the media or the American public. 16%

Although her record label, Geffen, has to hire professional singers to perform for Ashlee Simpson on her albums and must use these same recorded tracks to play at her concerts so she can lip synch, this does not mean that Ashlee Simpson isn't a great singer or talented performer. 18%

The 75,000 people who booed Ashlee Simpson off the stage at the Orange Bowl, 300,000 who signed a petition asking for Geffen to drop her from the label, and 298 million Americans who didn't buy her album are all just jealous. 32%

Turned in with Signatures but none checked off: .056%

You Say Tomato and I Have No Idea What You're Saying

2005-04-05T00:56:00.000-07:00

Imagine if you found out that Rogers Communications in Canada was remaking Seinfeld, and with Canadian actors so that our northern neighbors could better relate to the characters. Seeing as how both America and Canada use English as an official language and are pretty similar culturally, you'd think Rogers wasn't giving the intellect of Canadian audiences much respect right?

Who would think to take one of the greatest television shows of all time, a perfectly cast, perfectly scripted masterpiece, and instead of just re-airing the original version in other countries, go through the process of redoing the entire show just so the local audience hears an accent they're more familiar with and have the roles performed in a broader, more obvious way?

We present to you The Office: American Style

link

American Idol Strikes Back

2005-04-04T01:01:00.000-07:00

How many times, when you're complaining about the crappy state of entertainment, do you hear " Well, my friend/co-worker/son, just turn it off"? Ug. You may feel frustrated by the apparent logic of this statement, and you're not alone.

What people fail to realize is the damage that loads of crappy entertainment being forced down their throat on a daily basis really does damage to oneself, one's country, and one's culture. Every day children are being enslaved to the idea that their entertainment can be just "good enough" and not anything worthwhile or meaningful. This bothers you, your friends, and people on your block. So why is all this garbage polluting the airwaves that we jointly own?

It is our opinion that the long-term effects of this trash is barely understood, but every day there seem to be more and more symptoms of this disease. The latest? The ruination of the American Musical.

New York Times theater critic Ben Brantley says: "The tentacles of the 'American Idol' sensibility actually reach much deeper, into the very throat of the American musical, and may change forever the way Broadway sings. This is not a happy prognosis." The singing on "Idol," he complains, "is intensely emotional and oddly impersonal. The accent is on abstract feelings, usually embodied by people of stunning ordinariness, than on particular character."

link

The Babe Gets the Last Laugh: Curse Still Intact

2005-04-03T01:21:00.000-08:00

The tide truly has turned on the god awful career of America's #1 D-Bag Jimmy Fallon (Taxi, Almost Famous, Anything Else) . Even die-hard Red Sox fans are revolting against this disgusting adaption/remake of Fever Pitch and here's a great article by Bill Simmons explaining why.

Note his comments regarding the remaking of British TV and film into American versions. Keep an eye peeled for an upcoming H.O.P.E. post going more into detail on this ridiculous phenomena and why we should be very leery of The Office: American Style.

link

Multiple Choice

2005-04-01T03:34:00.000-08:00

From H.O.P.E.'s Secretary of the Interior, Jingo Lemon:

Regular readers of H.O.P.E. will know the answer to the following multiple choice. For new readers however, let the following question be as instructional as it is informative.

One of the following is real and therefore not an appropriate title for a H.O.P.E. April Fools Day prank:

A) A televised debate between Michael Shiavo and the Schindler Family is scheduled to take place on ABC with Jim Belushi as the moderater.

B) Comedy Central announces series with working title: Yakov Smirinoff's World's Greatest Nachos

C) Following the initial ratings success of The Office: American Style, a remake of The Dukes of Hazzard is being produced for a regional broadcast on New York's WNBC 4 starring Andrew Dice Clay and Joe Peschi as the Duke boys.

D) Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac team up for a remake of the Sidney Poitier classic "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" called "Guess Who."

The answer is sadly D. America, consider this your last warning on the "Guess Who" front.

God speed.

Dirt Merchants... Up Close and Personal

2005-03-29T01:55:00.000-08:00

A H.O.P.E. Operative in the field sent us this report from the set of the Surreal Life. Although the show had a novel charm in seasons 1 and 2, our operative reports this season is more in line with the most recent installments. In other words, more mindless entertainment from the production company Mindless Entertainment run by garbage trader Mark Cronin.

Please note one more example of how "reality" TV is not in fact reality at all; a sentiment that is frequently expressed, but rarely explained. The problem with reality shows that purport to be real but are actually staged and scripted is that it eliminates the spontaneous human dynamic that makes these half-baked, sensationalized, criminally zany shows bearable. There's no reason to care about what these people have to say or do when you know the entire thing is a sham. D-list and unknown/uninteresting "celebrities" living together is a marginal premise at best, when you add in the fact that they're taking the time to plan and act out the stupidity, well...

You've got a show that was only supposedly funny/interesting because of its unscripted nature, which it no longer has. You have people acting "real" (being forced to live in a house with 7 strangers) but that are actually actors that are pretending to be "real". What you have, in the words of our leader Mr. Jackson, is a terrible soap opera. Do we need another one of those?

For more of H.O.P.E.'s views on reality TV, please go to founding father Ben Hoth's article "A Dose of Reality"

From H.O.P.E. Operative Samantha Stevens

I've always thought people need to know how fake and ridiculous this show is, and it's only for that reason and my love for H.O.P.E. that I went on this trip to Hell.

After a two hour wait and drive in a hot van (as an unpaid extra, thanks Mindless Entertainment!), we finally arrived at the Surreal Life house. All the extras were herded onto the adjacent rundown tennis court to hang out among piles of cables and plastic folding chairs, barked at and basically treated like shit. After another long delay, they called us up to the house and were ordered to line up at the front door. All of us in line were handed a twenty dollar bill with which to purchase the Jose Canseco, book "Juiced" and get it signed by the desperate and bankrupt "author". They made it clear that if we were to keep the twenty dollar bill, we would not receive a book and they would catch us because they had cameras everywhere. "Don't look into the cameras". they barked. We were told to act natural. Well, natural except for the fact we were supposed to pretend like we were fans of his and there to get his book signed.

The door to the house opened and we were greeted by Apprentice reject Omorosa. She looked more like a prostitute than a lawyer or whatever the hell she was. She had on some tight jeans with a glittery belt, a pink tank top tied like a hooters girl shirt, and some long fake lashes a la Tammy Faye. She had a look on her face suggesting that this was not a preferred activity.

As we made it through the house in the Jose line and were directed around the stairwell leading to the upstairs quarters. Carey Hart (someone seemed to think he's a Motocross guy) was no fun at all. He just stood at the bottom of the stairway, pretending to guard against intruders.

We followed the line to the large common room where Janice Dickinson (apparently she was a model at one point) sat on the couch in some athletic clothing and a military type jacket eating a salad. She acting oblivious to our presence and then fake casually looked up and said in a perfectly scripted manner: "Where did you all come from?" She just kept looking at us with big anorexic doe eyes asking us where we'd come from. I laughed out loud at how stupid the entire scene was and the fact they were trying to pass this off as natural.

Finally, we made it to the Jose table. Bronson Pinchot sat quietly at the table, collecting our twenties, dwarfed by 'roid monger and professional rat; the tired and miserable looking Jose Canseco. Pinchot stared morosely at his box of money. It may have been the most money he's seen in a long while. He rarely smiled or made any expression for that matter but looked slightly perturbed at the jerkoff's calling him Balki. Jose, like a trained seal, wrote what I asked in my book -- "Princess, you changed my life". and I quickly got out of there (steroid abusers are prone to violent outbursts.)

As I turned around, ready to make my escape I was surrounded by cameras and booms and all kinds of strange machinery. I got passed the cameras and was greeted by some model I didn't know. A tall, blond, burly type, handing out pb and j's (Caprice someone said? Who the hell are these people?!) I turned again, almost dizzy, and asked a down-trodden woman I was later informed was Sandi Denton of Salt-N-Pepa if I could use the restroom. She turned to a P.A. looking for an answer. He barked at me to go outside.

But there was hope. On my way out I carefully stuck little heart shaped, doily, post-it notes to the wall leading back to the front door from the living room. The most memorable ones said "You are all liars. How do you sleep at night?" and "Quit Ruining the World!" I feel better having left them and not ugly yellow ones. They are less threatening.

As I left, Omarosa thanked me for coming. I did not reply and she repeated herself louder "THANK YOU FOR COMING!"

"Thank You!!!" I shouted, and hurried out the door to the port-o-potty where I almost vomited.

So basically, it's more of the same. The whole thing was so calculated and coordinated that the only reality is the reality that these are people whose careers are over and need to try to trick the American public for money. Another example of how a show with a good premise turned to shit by playing loose with truth and running the theme into the ground. Bleh. And to think they'll have me on camera pretending to be excited to see Jose Canseco under the false premise I came there to get my book signed.

The whole scene reminded me of a line from the once funny Dennis Miller referring to a 2 for 1 special on baby blue leisure suits at K-Mart. "Hey, two of shit is shit. If they really wanted to fuck you, they'd give you five of these things." Well, the Surreal Life house has six boring and disinterested D-list pseudo celebrities, and without having any elements of reality or spontaneity, making them all live together is just six times the boredom.

I need a shower.

Go H.O.P.E.

Extraordinary Machine : Unchained

2005-03-28T09:33:00.000-08:00

You may remember our previous post regarding the non-release of Fiona Apple's new album because it wasn't full of radio hits. It still has no radio hits, but has been secretly released onto the internets for everyone to hear. What are they saying?

Well, who cares? We're not here to dictate taste. At H.O.P.E., we would find it unconscionable to favor some artists over others. We do our best simply to try to highlight and eliminate those productions that are clinging happily to the bottom of the barrel. Fiona's album may or may not actually be good, but we're enthused at the idea of it getting released regardless of how much money it is going to make. There are plenty of albums that get released SOLELY for that reason.

link

R.I.P. : U.S.A.

2005-03-27T22:34:00.000-08:00

George Kennan died last week. He was a leading authority on the Soviet Union, helped keep the Cold War a cold war, and won the pulitzer TWICE. This true American hero also had some very interesting things to say about american media, including -

"I am startled to note the bleakness of the impressions of my own country…. I view the United States of these last years of the 20th century as essentially a tragic country, endowed with magnificent natural resources which it is rapidly wasting and exhausting, and with an intellectual and artistic intelligentsia of great talent and originality of which the dominant political forces of the country have little understanding or regard."

In our humble opinion, this is the sort of person that should be heading the FCC. It is people with these views that should be held up to high regard. And it is a shame that this man's death recieved less attention than Paris Hilton's sidekick.

link

God, I Love Our Members

2005-03-25T01:59:00.000-08:00

From the Desk of Chris Jackson:

A H.O.P.E. operative in the field sent in this report. Please note the use of "family values" and conflicting/false messages being sent to the students all in an effort to sell crappy albums. These people are sick, will do anything to make a buck, and are not to be trusted or believed.

Every Time She Sells an Album, an Angel Gets Its Wings

Okay, at the beginning of the day- the announcements came on for my suburban middle school:

- OH MY GOD! A POP SENSATION IS HERE TO PREACH ANTI-DRUG MESSAGES!

The person who came to our school was "Angel" hawking her CD "Believe in Angels, Believe in me" to celebrate VH1's "Save the Music" tour. How is this saving the music?

The table next to the entrance to the auditorium was filled with "Angel" advertisements-complete with CD coupon, one track single, and posters. The PR man who came out first gave away shirts and such, with no anti-drug messages.

The only anti-drug reference is a hint to go to
"http://www.freevibe.com/"

A site which, in my opinion, bends the truth a thousand times to make marijuana seem like a drug that if tried once will turn innocent children into street bums who accidentally shoot their brother and spend all their money on more drugs.

When they finally paraded "Angel" out in front of us kids she sang 4 songs said "Hope you're having fun!" and left.

Obviously her whole tour was to hawk her CD to middle school kids, not to preach her message of abstinence and staying clear of drugs.

Her male backup dancers were basically having sex with her on the stage in front of a bunch of 12 year old kids. This doesn't disturb me, but the fact that she preaches abstinence and then sells her CD with sex does.

They claimed "Angel" was an honor student (she's 16), but if she was an honor student wouldn't she at least want to talk to us about drugs at least?

Your Sickened Fan,

Alex

Let Me Guess... It's Ashton, and You're Here to Ruin the World

2005-03-24T01:11:00.000-08:00

From H.O.P.E. Operative and Secretary of the Interior, Jingo Lemon:

Ashton Kutcher may or may not be the devil, but one thing is for certain: he can't act. His latest movie, Guess Who? is an abomination and the only thing that kept H.O.P.E. from taking action against this hideous film is the minor nature of the Kutch.

Please follow the link at the bottom of the page; you'll laugh more reading the following quote and review than if you watched the entire Ashton Kutcher library of flops (Just Married, My Boss's Daughter, Cheaper by the Dozen, Butterfly Effect).

"If nothing else, Guess Who taps into a surprisingly universal emotion: What father, black or white, wouldn't want to keep a goober like Ashton Kutcher from joining the family?"

—Nathan Rabin

Guess Who? Review
http://www.theonionavclub.com/cinema/index.php?issue=4112&r=1

Keep Fighting the Good Fight

2005-03-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

From the desk of Chris Jackson:

To H.O.P.E. supporters around the globe...

When you see Ben Affleck signing on to direct a feature film, or hear that Paris Hilton is in a remake of House of Wax or are feeling bombarded by the endless coverage of celebrity trials that bump real news stories off of the front page, sometimes it's easy to think, "Dammit, we don't have have the money these networks and studios do, we don't have the resources they have, we don't have the ties that allow us to reach into people's homes through every and any means necessary every night." It's easy to feel like the task at hand is just too great.

But stay the course. What we have is the silent majority starting to make their voice heard; people who have had enough and are ready to do something about it, and H.O.P.E. chapters springing up all over the world. People like Josh Potter and the great students of Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska setting up shop on campus, Jamie Bonnie and the New York contingent doing their part by passing out the Ashlee Simpson pledge in Manhattan, Sue Denim's Dallas group giving away quality CD's to kids on Christmas Day in Dallas, and thousands of others fighting tooth and nail to rebel against the mindless mediocrity that is being forced on us by these soulless corporate behemoths.

What we have are people like Patrick Tallerico and a nation of dissatisfied citizens ready to join the fight.

And that's all we need.

Featured E-mail of the Week:

Patrick Tallerico
H.O.P.E. Member

Wow. After visiting your website for the very first time, I felt tears of joy pounding from the insides of my eyes demanding their release.

First off, let me introduce myself. I'm 19 years old and reside in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I'm an independent artist and musician, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist who earns a living recording and engineering local talent so I can support myself to do what I love: create. Being of 19 years, I came into my teens during the golden age of the synthetic pop culture of the late 90's-crossing over into the 2000's. Needless to say I was dumbfounded and horrified by the world growing around me. Being 13 years old when Britney Spears hit the shelves, you could say that I was at Ground Zero of the biggest and smartest corporate scam and overall manipulation of the public the music world has seen to date, although at the time no one would have known. Nobody still has an idea, really, but it was a sinfully brilliant process of turning absolute nobodies into marketing gold - like crafting diamonds from clay - and everybody, everybody, fell for it.

I was at the dances, I was at the parties, the malls, junior high and high school, reading the AOL instant messanger profiles of friends and foes alike who displayed the lyrics of N'Sync, the Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, Britney Spears ... but it didn't end there. Equal to that was Blink 182, Limp Bizkit, Korn ... and Puff Daddy, Mase, Usher ... it was all the same monster, bearing a head for each target audience. No child was left behind, you could say. But as I have said, I was there at Ground Zero, and terrified. It was like a bad movie. I was the main character with this immunity against a terrible disease that had plagued the planet. The plague was the destruction of intelligence and taste in culture, and I had not one ally who saw things the same as I did. Of course this wasn't just about music. This was about all entertainment. From my experiences of being there at that state in time, I observed that entertainment was the way of life. By the movies they watched, by the music they listened to, the clothing vendors, radio, MTV and the era of Total Request Live, people simply watched, listened, and took orders. And just like that people were transformed, and a cultural revolution began. MTV and all of its culture and its partners in crime did for music and entertainment what McDonald's did for the food industry. It's quick, it's cheap, you don't have to think about it, it's just there - and yeah it's bad for you, and yeah it tastes like shit sometimes, but damn, it's good ..... isn't it? Society finds comfort in finding ways to make less and less decisions and work for themselves, and because of that, there will always be a market for this style of business. This applies to all fields of our world, whether it be politics, entertainment, religion - you name it.

And everything is exactly the same to this day. Of course, I'm older now, and as an adult you can choose to exist in the less-occupied corners of the world where you are not harrassed by such depressing culture. Still though, I can't even buy a carton of milk or a loaf of bread without checking out and seeing Star magazine, US Weekly, or magazines of the like right in my face. Up until recently, I thought I was among a strong minority who felt this way about our culture - I saw the public divided into two groups: those who support it and thrive on it, and those who are apathetic and care very little about it, holding no opinion one way or the other. I found myself drifting into apathy, willing to resign the case as futile.

One of my favorite things in this world to do is hide under a pair of headphones, go outside somewhere, lay down and listen to the nocturnes and preludes of Chopin, or a Miles Davis record, or some Bille Holiday... Ray Charles, The Beatles, Radiohead - my artist of choice is different everytime. This is my refuge. And everytime I think about it and compare true talent to what is popularized and entertaining to human beings today, it makes me ashamed to be breathing. Two hundred years ago some of the greatest music conceivable was being written - intricate, passionate, soulful, true, honest, and pure genius - and logic would offer that in the laws of evolution we would assume music would only progress, or at least maintain its quality elements. This has not happened, and as a society we should be embarrassed by ourselves and what we find entertaining.

But who is really to blame? Greed is a key factor. Entertainment corporations are willing to sacrifice art, craft, talent, civility and intelligence for easily-made money. Afterall, for the naive viewer it is easier to watch and understand The Simple Life or The Littlest Groom than it is to watch, understand and enjoy Fraiser or Seinfeld, or even The Family Guy or The Simpsons for that matter. So what does that mean? The truth is, we are almost entirely responsible for the idiots that we hate looking at and wonder about why and how they are famous. Why are they famous? Because we put them there. Everytime you buy a CD or tune into one of the thousands of dim-witted reality television shows, or buy a Star or US Weekly, you're giving those people a mandate to keep doing what they're doing - justifying their cause. Like I said earlier, I was willing to accept this reality and try to live my life in peace, but having such a passion against the destruction of our culture, I simply cannot do that. It's important for everyone, everywhere, to pick up the cause. If you have even the remotest interest in this, apathy is not an option. This is why I was so overjoyed by your website - this is the first attempt I've ever witnessed where an organized group has actually said "NO" to the bullshit the world is feeding everybody. I support you 100%, and I would like to know how I can join or help in any way.

Stephen King : On Our Side

2005-03-22T22:21:00.000-08:00

Many people consider Stephen King to be the Everybody Loves Raymond of Literature. That being said, he has some very good points to make about star power vs story power. He does make the somewhat dubious claim that Will Smith is the last real movie star, but just force yourself to keep reading after that claim and you'll be plesantly suprised.

Eventually, maybe people will listen to him and figure out that slapping J-Lo's name on some entertainment won't make it as good a product. That they instead need to make a good product and leave her name off it.

link

More Paris

2005-03-22T16:31:00.000-08:00

From H.O.P.E.'s Secretary of the Interior, Jingo Lemon:

Slow news day, but there's always one more reason to hate Paris Hilton. Just a blurb, but still says volumes about her commitment to excellence in television.

By the way, this interview is with producer Rob Thomas, not the abysmal Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 or second rate wide receiver Robb Thomas, formerly of the Kansas City Chiefs.

Also, take a look at the bottom of the interview to get some insight into the dysfunctional nature of how TV shows are made and how blame is assigned. Any time you have a situation where there's not one person with a clear artistic vision who is hands on and has ultimate control you're in for trouble.

This link provided by The Mistress Of Miscellany/Dallas Chapter President: Ms. Sue Z. Denim.

link

H.O.P.E. Press

2005-03-21T07:45:00.000-08:00

Are you interested in reading about H.O.P.E. ?

Probably, because you're here at the H.O.P.E. site reading about us.

Have you ever wanted to read about H.O.P.E., but not here?

Well, this is your chance:

http://www.mtve.com/article.php?ArticleId=5160

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/4016481.stm

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/_/id/6627758?rnd=1110354013781&hasplayer=unknown

http://entertainment.msn.com/news/article.aspx?news=173273&mpc=2

http://launch.yahoo.com/read/news/14290809

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0%2C1%2C15359%2C00.html

http://channels.netscape.com/ns/celebrity/whisper.jsp?current=16

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1493713/20041112/story.jhtml

Christina Aguilera : My Tacky Clothing Line Has Been Canceled

2005-03-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

Christina's clothing line has been canceled because she doesn't know anything about clothing lines.

No, wait, it is because she trashed celebrity clothing lines, and made the mistake of calling them out and calling them "tacky". We at H.O.P.E. are a little ambivalent about this entire situation, but are starting to think of Christina as a modern-day Christ figure, persecuted for her beliefs.

More to come. (?)

link

A Note From The Mistress of Miscellany : Tina probably said celebrity clothing lines are tacky as a way to distinguish hers as being a cut above, not as a way of bashing her ownendeavor. Regardless, the ending is appropriate.

A Quick Note From George Lucas

2005-03-18T07:32:00.000-08:00

We're really hoping Star Wars : Episode III is going to be good. George Lucas thinks:

"It's not like the old 'Star Wars,' " Lucas told theater owners at the ShoWest convention. "This one's a little bit more emotional. We like to describe it as 'Titanic' in space."

So this means either

1: George Lucas thinks the new Star Wars is like the movie "Titanic"
or
2: George Lucas thinks the new Star Wars should be compared to the ship that is commonly used as a metaphor of unparalleled disaster.

link

Martin New FCC Head, In Other News : Benjamin Franklin Pissed

2005-03-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

Kevin Martin (the youth-minister looking, industry-friendly lawyer) is the new FCC chief, and it seems that he'll be ruling in much the same way that his predecessor did. His appointment makes a little more sense than Paul Wolfowitz (!!) to the World Bank, but it doesn't mean we're for it.

Quite the opposite. Kevin Martin looks to be the same sort of chief that Powell was. He's for further deregulation of the airwaves, and also for increased fines for "indecency". In fact, he thinks that last year's record setting fines were not enough, and that new fines should be imposed on a "per utterance" basis.

What else, you may ask? How about asking broadcasters to dedicate an hour of prime time each night to family-friendly programming. Better yet, he wants the FCC to give TV affiliates the right to reject network shows the deem imappropriate. These sorts of suggestions have been used in the past by the FCC to punish people that don't program along "moral" (read: pro-violence, anti-sex) guidelines.

While these attempts at regulation would be great if they were used to get Simple Life or (insert UPN sitcom here) off the air, they won't be. These are tools for media control and censorship, and we've no reason to assume that Kevin won't be using them for just that reason.

The FCC doesn't care about the wasting of our public airwaves. They care about the big industry that is entertainment being happy. Will Kevin do anything to stop Clear Channel from ruining radio? Don't bet the Farm. That's why industry-insiders are so happy about Kevin getting this promotion, and why you the viewer should be horrified.

We've nothing to look forward to besides the FCC continuing their morally bankrupt management of our public airwaves. If you'd like to learn more about Kevin Martin, try this link, this link, or this link.

If you're unsatisfied with this appointment, write your senator. Kevin does not require senatoral approval because he's already a standing member of the FCC, but that also means that any mail received about his appointment will be doubly unexpected. Make your voice heard!

Paris Hilton : Screwed

2005-03-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

No, this isn't a year ago. If it were, we'd be talking about how Paris Hilton was in a porno that was all over the internet.

No, wait, correction : We wouldn't be talking about Paris Hilton at all because she wasn't famous before her stupid porno.

We at H.O.P.E. certainly aren't against porno, and we're not against someone making their name in porn. We are, however, against any amount of entertainment being produced by people that are unskilled, untrained, and simply cashing in on their name/fame.

Like when Paris Hilton releases an awful single. Follow the link to listen.

link

Christina Aguilera : I am Launching a Clothing Line

2005-03-15T21:20:00.000-08:00

Christina Aguilera has decided to launch her own clothing line. Just two weeks after declaring that celebs with clothing lines were "tacky", she has changed her mind. So she's either a hypocrite or not a celebrity or tacky. We'll go for the trifecta.

It should also be noted that she was paid millions of pounds to launch the line. Money talks.

link

Christina Aguilera : Celebs with clothing lines are "tacky"

2005-03-15T21:02:00.000-08:00

Just so you know, Christina Aguilera thinks that designing your own clothing line is lame-o. A direct quote:

"I just think it is so tacky. I have always thought that it's one of those things that just makes people look like they don't know what to do any more."

Way to go, Chrsitina! Maybe there is still hope for you.

link

Profile in Courage : Rob Bell

2005-03-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes here at H.O.P.E. we wonder if there's really no "hope" in sight. We get a little down in the dumps, and we kick a can around the dirt backlot of H.O.P.E. headquarters. We have a beer or two and lament to one another. We wonder whether or not there really is a bright future out there, beyond all the smog. You know what we come up with?

YES THERE IS HOPE! Every day people are choosing to not participate in the mindless gerbil-wheel of consuming entertainment that will make them boring and stupid. Every single day there are people that suddenly realize that their old mix tape is way better than their Maroon5 CD, or that they shouldn't have wasted any money going to go see Fat Albert.

There are victories every single day out there, and sometimes we overlook them. That's why we've decided to have a semi-regular entry here at H.O.P.E. that highlights the noteworthy actions that make our world a better place. (entertainment-wise). Through action or inaction, these heroes are doing what it takes to reclaim our dignity.

The H.O.P.E Profile in Courage this week recognizes Rob Bell. You may know him from his semi-obscure place in the Devil Ray's lineup. He's a mediocre pitcher (8-8, 4.46 ERA) on a sub-mediocre team. You know what that means? That's right, they offered him to be the new bachelor on The Bachelor. Apparently, the potential dynamics of the Bachelor have not yet been fully explored. Another seasons must ensue, and they wanted our man Rob.

You know what Rob Bell told those bastards!? He told them NO! He stood up to their money and fame and refused to make some retarded garbage in his spare time. It is said that he feared "too much exposure". Bless you Robert Allen Bell. Bless you.

When Good Comedians Go Bad

2005-03-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

From the Desk of Chris Jackson

At first glance, the show sounds promising, but beware people of the world. What lies ahead could very well be a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Chris Rock has certainly staked his claim as one of the greatest stand-ups of all time with his early HBO specials, most notably Bring the Pain. His early standup was so strong in fact that when we hear he's involved in being the creative vision for a project our immediate thoughts are "Great, this could be something really smart and funny."

Upon further review however, nothing could be further from the truth. The sad reality is the Chris Rock of 2005 , along with co-conspiritor Ali LeRoi, are more likely to give us Head fo State or Down to Earth than something groundbreaking.

He's the new Steve Martin and another example of what can happen to a comedian when you start making insane money and become disconected from people who tell you when you're not funny.

We'll keep our fingers crossed though.

link

Your Childhood Memories : The Next Generation

2005-03-14T02:13:00.000-08:00

Hey, remember when innovation was considered a virtue? Well soon we'll be the last generation that does. Warner Brothers has decided that in lieu of any new or original ideas, they've decided to "reimagine" the Looney Tunes cast.

Their reimagineers have decided that Bugs Bunny should be called Buzz Bunny, should have laser eyes and be a martial arts expert. Daffy Duck will have sonar. Ok.

We at H.O.P.E. aren't old curmudgeons that hate "all that new music/cartoons/books/T.V." What we hate is the fact that instead of just launching a new show with some interesting and innovative new characters, Warner Brothers instead decided that there is more money to be made by milking an established product one more time.

Why don't they care that the fans of the original show will be turned off by these sorts of antics? Don't they think that "Tiny Toons" and "Baby Looney Tunes" are enough? Is there a demand for this, or is it just the easiest thing to greenlight?

From David Janollari, president of entertainment for the WB:

"If "Loonatics" is a hit on Saturday morning, for example, it is likely to ripple through the company's merchandising, home-video and movie divisions. "That's the ultimate goal of all kids programming," says Mr. Janollari. "If we score, it's a gold mine."

Excuse us while we go puke.

link

Powell Steps Down, Party to be Short Lived

2005-03-14T01:50:00.000-08:00

Michael Powell is finally gone, and he has no replacement yet. So for the first time in the last seven and a half years, there isn't a nepotistically appointed, industry-controlled figurehead that is actively betraying the public trust that he swore to uphold.

Hooray!

His possible successors:

Michael D. Gallagher- Mr. Powell's preferred choice. He has no record concerning the most important choices that will face him, including the size of media companies, internet telephone companies, or the expansion of indecency rules for cable. The fact that Powell likes him makes us fear we'd be in for more of the same.

Kevin J. Martin- He worked on Bush's campaign and then was appointed to a commission job. His wife works for Cheney, and he's gotten mad at the commission in the past for not being more aggressive in enforcing indecency rules. Great.

If you are interested in who becomes the new FCC chief, please visit FreePress' site and petition. They're trying to get a candidate that will "defend the public interest and promote a more democratic media system."

link

Britney : STFU

2005-03-14T00:08:00.000-08:00

Britney, speaking about a recent magazine article, stated in her official website that

"I feel the article focused too much on my personal life and various events from my past. I've already dealt with these issues with the support of my family & friends and have fully moved on. In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art."

VICTORY FOR HOPE!

link

Dr. Seuss : Ending the Energy Crisis

2005-03-10T14:41:00.000-08:00

Dr. Seuss made great books. Hollywood has made awful movies based on books by Dr. Seuss.

For many of you, The Grinch was a killing blow to many of your fond childhood memories. For others, it was the truly "some things you can't un-see" The Cat in the Hat. In case you have any fondness for the good doctor left, Horton Hears a Who should just about finish you off.

Horton Hears a Who (and the already optioned Horton Hatches an Egg) are being put together by Blue Sky Studios. Blue Sky themselves have a very pristine track record, but so did Mike Myers and Jim Carey at one time.

The rub: their adaptation of the Dr. Seuss classic is being written by Ken Daurio and Cinco Paul, who earlier teamed to give us The Santa Clause 2 and Bubble Boy.

If only we could hook up some sort of turbine to the grave of Theodore Seuss Geisel, maybe we wouldn't have to worry about the Middle East. We could just keep asking studios to pump out substandard and terrible movies based on his delightful books. Then, as Dr. Seuss' body spun, we could harness the energy and power our homes.

We at H.O.P.E. give our heartfelt condolences to the family of the good doctor, and we hope that whatever money they've been paid makes a good mattress for when they cry themselves to sleep every night.

link

North Shore, we hardly had a chance to hate on you

2005-03-09T12:47:00.000-08:00

North Shore, the stillborn brainchild of Harry Bring and Jim Sharp, has finally been laid to rest. It cost a lot of money (2 million per episode) but was terrible anyways. Everyone involved seemed to enjoy working on it; however, when reading through the quotes, that appears to have a lot more to do with the fact that filming took place in Hawaii than anything else.

In other news, North Shore's time slot has been filled by the equally tepid Point Pleasant.

link

Ashlee : Acoustic and Awful in Asia

2005-03-09T00:51:00.000-08:00

We've got some doubts that Ashlee's tour will make it to China anytime soon. They're debating a national "boycott and shunning" of lip-synching. Why? They're sick of "cookie-cutter performers with little real talent". Maybe we can learn something from these wise people from the East.

link

Ashlee Simpson Continues Tour to Bottom of Barrel

2005-03-08T02:15:00.000-08:00

Ashlee's tour has made it to suburban Chicagoland. We have been distributing the Ashlee Simpson pledge at many of her tour dates, and this was no exception. We spoke with many of her fans that were "totally unaware" of the money that is behind her marketing. After the show, we had a flood of negative responses from these same "fans."

The local paper seems to agree. Please check out this link for a local review of the show and the girl. Her performance bears the same hallmark the U.S failures in Vietnam and the U.S.S.R.'s problems in Afghanistan: That an overabundance of technology was unable to save what was, from the beginning, a lost cause.

- update: sorry, the Daily News took down the story. no link today. -

Teleconglomerate Tango

2005-03-08T01:48:00.000-08:00

This article is from The Economist, and is a nice summary of another giant media merger.

While this is long distance and phone related, this is also dealing with a lot of the infrastructure that brings you your internet and cable.

Those same industries are working harder and harder to bring you music, movies, and other content over their lines. The line between television content/delivery and internet content/delivery is being blurred further with every one of these mergers. What happens when MCI is bought by Sony? Clear Channel anyone?

Feb 17th 2005
From The Economist print edition
A new breed of telecoms firm emerges

THE telecoms business in America, as well as being built with wires and switches, has been based on imaginary divisions: between local and long-distance calls; wireless and wire-line; regional and national service; voice and internet. But recent deals by America's two biggest "Baby Bells" to buy long-distance operators have laid to rest this old, fictional industry structure. A new corporate beast is emerging: the telecomglomerate, competing across all categories of communications.

On February 14th, Verizon, a large regional telecoms operator, said that it would acquire MCI, a long-distance provider, for $6.7 billion. Provided the deal goes through (some MCI shareholders still prefer a higher bid by Qwest) the combined firm will have annual revenues of over $90 billion and 250,000 employees. Along with the agreement two weeks ago by SBC, another regional Bell company, to buy AT&T, it brings to a close America's long-distance phone industry.

The logic behind both deals is to enable the regional operators, which have near-monopolies on local calls in their area, to move into supplying communications services to businesses, a lucrative market. Yet the deals will ultimately mean much more. They will end the old non-aggression pact among regional operators to avoid competing in each other's territory. Competition will come (first for business and, later, for residential customers) not across copper wires, but from wireless and fibre lines for internet access.

Both Verizon and SBC will be new "oligopolies" able to offer the full gamut of communications services, says Raul Katz of Adventis, a telecoms consultancy. Eli Noam, the director of Columbia University's Institute for Tele-Information, calls the consolidation a natural evolution to achieve scale and diversify risk. "The telecom industry has moved from utility to volatility, and it is difficult to survive in the commodity part of the business," he says.

Ironically, MCI was devoured by the very competition it instigated. Founded in 1963 as Microwave Communications Inc, it set up wireless towers for radio dispatchers, and eventually took on AT&T's monopoly in 1968. In its first years, the joke was that it had more lawyers than linemen; the firm even placed its headquarters one block from America's telecoms regulator. Its 1974 antitrust suit against AT&T culminated in the 1984 break-up of "Ma Bell". MCI was bought by WorldCom in 1998 and disappeared, until its name was resurrected after WorldCom emerged from bankruptcy protection in 2004 following an $11 billion accounting scandal.

The sudden removal of America's long-distance companies by the regional operators poses new regulatory questions, just as America's politicians debate revising the nation's telecoms laws and a new chairman of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has to be appointed to replace the current boss, Michael Powell, who steps down in March. Together, it heralds a massive overhaul of America's telecoms regulatory landscape.

"The new FCC chairman either has a big eraser or a new pen, one or the other," says Reed Hundt, the FCC chairman from 1993 to 1997. Whether there are fewer rules or more, however, the mergers are expected to be approved by regulators with conditions, such as to ensure transparency for internet pricing for businesses.

But the new telecoms war will be not just between the telecomglomerates, Verizon and SBC, and the remaining Baby Bells, but among cable firms, too. They are now offering phone and internet service, just as telecom firms are now vying to offer TV service. Battle lines are being drawn.

Beware the Pacifier

2005-03-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

The new Dolph Lundgren, Vin Diesel, has adjusted the tragectory of his already declining career into a full blown tailspin. Some reviews of the pacifier:

Halfway through the so-called comedy "The Pacifier," Vin Diesel -- in an ill-conceived effort to save one of his young charges -- jumps into a sewer and becomes covered, head to toe, in human excrement. This scene could be a metaphor for the entire film.

--CNN

With no real comedy to enjoy, it's torture to watch Diesel undergo a predictable change from emotionless soldier to loving family man. Makes you want to spit out your pacifier in disgust.

--Washington Post

Director Adam Shankman pushes together scenes with little rhythm or flow. Writers Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant ignore credibility, throw in pointless sight gags, treat humiliation as comedy and use tiresome ethnic stereotypes. In short, Diesel doesn't get the help he needs.

--The Globe and Mail

If the once red-hot Vin Diesel's overhyped career wasn't finished off by last summer's mega flop "The Chronicles of Riddick," the alleged family comedy The Pacifier ought to do the trick.

--The New York Post

Chris Jackson in the Ring of Fire

2005-03-07T00:04:00.000-08:00

Last week Air America gave a great interview with the always articulate Chris Jackson.

Ring of Fire is a fun program to listen to, and we considered it an honor to send one of our very best to speak with them. We apologize for not giving you a heads-up to catch it live, but they do archive every show.

Visit their site here, and click on the "Chris Jackson" link . . .

or here for a direct link to the show (may not work with all browsers).

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars V : War of the Posers

2005-03-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

Mr. Lemon seems dubious of the idea that there is hope.
Oscar Sunday will do that to you.

From the Desk of Chris Jackson:

Operatives Kid Protocol, Action J, Oscar Lemon along with camera men Danny Diamond and Able Lemon take the red carpet by storm. We walk right through the front door with full media credentials, two video cameras, and a healthy fear of coming face to face with Joan Rivers (or the Spawn of Rivers).

Highlights include:

-- Learning that the 300 (or so) people waiting on the street outside to see celebs arrive had been there since 5:00 am. In the sweltering heat. For an event that starts at 5:00 pm, that they wouldn't be invited to in a million years. What was that great line Groucho Marx said about exclusivity? "I wouldn't want to be a part of any club that would let utterly mindless and brainwashed celebrity obsessed morons in."

-- Chatting up most of the security people and police officers guarding the event. Clearly, this is not the can't-miss event of their year.

-- KP (who is fluent in German) interviewed by a German TV outlet as to why he does not believe that fat old women in heavy makeup (doubling as reporters) rolling around on the Oscar carpet is news.

-- Action J getting the bleacher crowd to chant H.O.P.E. (video to
come) Basically, the crowd will chant whatever you ask of them and
will say anything you need for the camera. It's funny, but very scary
as well. It helps someone who doesn't run in these circles to understand
how things like Heaven's Gate or Jones Town happen.

We should have taken more advantage of this, because to them
we were celebrities as well. Unfortunately, we were somewhat
overwhelmed by the robotic (but enthusiastic) response we received
from the crowd. Had we thought of it, we could have started chanting
"RIOT" and maybe put a stop this affront.

In the crowds, there were many who had been coming to the Oscars for 20 years, for no clear reason except to feel like they were a part of the event -- and by "a part", we mean doing and saying whatever they are told by anyone who is on a red carpet 3 feet from them.

We couldn't relate to the whole thing, except to picture a 10 year old baseball fan meeting a professional baseball player. The problem, of course, is the fact that this crowd is not 10 and that the baseball players don't throw a giant party where they reward each other for great catches and their teams spend tens of millions so they win.

-- KP walking behind the E! televisions live feed twice with the "This is
news?!" sign. E! television exists to cover just entertainment-related news, following a belief that some people want to really "explore" the Paris Hilton lost dog story. They're literally an organization that exists to hype other products of the industry that they themselves are part of, but in a generally stupid and boring way.

Can you imagine if there was a newspaper that talked about how other newspapers were amazing? They'd ask hard hitting questions like "The L.A. Times : is it possible that it gets any better" and the editorials would all be about how "interesting" and "sexy" other more talented newspaper editorialist are.

Q: Why doesn't such a newspaper exist?
A: BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOTALLY RETARDED.

-- Action J interviewing the E! reporters for the H.O.P.E. documentary. E!'s fashion police correspondent Robert Verdi (the bald man in the white coat above) is the highlight. Verdi was so thoughtful and articulate with a healthy sense of the actual importance of the event it was disarming.

He agreed that there is an unhealthy element to the fans of such events and that all of the media hype and attention being paid to celebrity can be extremely damaging to the public. He would like to see the glorification of celebrity take more of the inspirational tone of "Anyone can make it", despite our agreement that this isn't really the case.

We also touched on the media, and his own responsibility in this dynamic. A great interview, and a thoughtful guy who was candid and honest about the entire event and his role in it. Of course, E! still sucks.

-- Some distasteful and disgusting man attempting to give Oscar fellatio. Come on buddy, there are better ways to get ahead (HA!) in the business.

_____

Overall, a major victory for H.O.P.E. and the good people of the world.

Our nominee, in the category for biggest waste of time is...

(drumroll please)

Watching a bunch of millionaire actors taking themselves extremely seriously (that means you Sean and Hillary), giving themselves awards that are bought off through the esteemed academy by their studio, and attending the glamorous backslapping and ass kissing parties that contain almost no glamour, and even less fun.

Movies are a wonderful medium for entertainment, and we are as
interested as anyone else to hear the thought process behind talented
people in any field. We are also all for recognizing and rewarding
those who create great works of entertainment for the rest of us to
enjoy.

Even if you were to accept the flawed premise that this is what the Oscars are all about, it's more than a little disturbing the amount of attention and coverage in the media this
event receives. We live in a world where the media makes it easier to name the nominees for Best Supporting Actor than the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize.

Media conglomerates decide every day what we can and can't listen to and what we should or shouldn't watch, and it's time they become more responsible. They must separate news stories from entertainment stories and the glorification of actors from the glorification of people changing the world.

Also, Sideways got hosed.

www.kidprotocol.com

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars IV - Longer than Dances With Wolves

2005-03-02T01:07:00.000-08:00

IFC Shutters After Party

This guy was literally yelling at his assistant for 15 min. at
the top of his lungs in the middle of a crowded party

Glamorous, eh?

From the Desk of Chris Jackson-

Kid Protocol was magic in getting into the after party at Shutters and showed why he is the world's premier party crasher. The upside down guest list maneuver is magic.

This was actually a reasonably good party... Its only marring was the one-man gang of obnoxious celebrity drama named Quentin Tarantino. His loud and in-need-of-attention behavior led him to briefly take the title of "America's #1 Douchebag" away from Jimmy Fallon.

Overall, minimal amounts of cheesy Hollywood types, a lot of people just happy to be there, and some tolerable celebs like Johnny Knoxville. Great food, free top shelf drinks, but the place was overpacked. Had it not been for our responsibilities to our fans world-over, we would have left. Again, I can't reiterate this enough: even when these parties are good, they're still only bearable. On a fun scale they're about par with a neighbor's BBQ that you're only invited to so you won't call the cops later when the music is loud. Just acceptable, nothing more.

But when they're bad... oh boy. And that takes us to are second stop of the evening: the highly guarded, highly coveted, highly boring Jeffery Katzenburg party at The Beverly Hills Hotel.

Multiple levels of security defending this piece of crap. There's free food and free drinks, which is always a big plus, but who wants to eat and drink somewhere NO ONE is having fun.

This is a business lunch (only with thousands of dollars lavished on the appetizers)- plain and simple. Being there is purely for the benefit of networking and just letting everyone know you could get in. Usher, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, Jamie Foxx, Tom Cruise, and a host of other celebs were in attendance, and let me tell you, they are not what you would call a good time.

Most of them are really boring in person, as you would expect from people whose lives revolve around being catered to and isolating themselves from any reality they aren't involved in personally. The really strange part about these parties is no one there seems to be friends or gets along. When you go to a party, typically you see pockets of friends dispersed hanging out together, other people mingling. You know - party crowd.

For these affairs? The celebs come alone, or with a date/hanger on. They then get to work being seen and kissing ass, and then go home. Our agents looked on in horror at the "party" that unfurled around them. Luckily,the disgusting Brett Ratner was in attendance, and he gave impetus to leaving.

Oh, but there was some hope. Waiting for our car and about to leave, I spotted Don Johnson - listing and confused, waiting for his ride as well. 10 minutes earlier we heard the valets on their intercoms in a state of panic looking for Nash Bridges' car and worrying whether they should even bring it to him since he was so plastered. As Kid Protocol strutted up to the bloated Johnson and asked for a picture (preparing his "I am Horrified" sign), something remarkable happened. Don was the only celeb who refused to have his picture taken.

Kid Protocol: Hey Don, can I get my picture with you?

Don Johnson: Sorry man, I'm out with the wife, can't do it.

KP: No problem. Have a great night.

DJ: I'd take it if I was alone, but I've already gone through three (I think he said three) wives and I gotta do everything I can to keep this one around.

KP: (Laughs) No sweat, have a good one.

DJ: Hey what's your name man?

KP: K..P.

DJ: K.P., I'm D.J. You have a great night and the next time we see each other out, we're gonna have us a good time and take that picture.

Crockett; Always as cool as the other side of the pillow. And with that, he got in his car and was driven off into the night.

www.kidprotocol.com

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars III - The ISA strike Back

2005-03-02T00:48:00.000-08:00

From the Desk of Chris Jackson:

The Independent Spirit Awards are Hollywood's answer to combating major
studio mass marketing campaigns and making the film industry accessible
to everyone. Naturally, you had to know someone or be a celebrity to get
in. I'm sure Tom Brady, in attendance and at a prominently displayed
table, really captured the spirit of Independent film.

After we watched Tom Arnold being treated like Tom Cruise it seemed more possible that these were just a lower budget version of the Oscars and a chance to slap everyone on the back who wasn't getting recognized by the Academy or couldn't get a ticket for the show.

Special agent Catch, working from the inside, helped Kid Protocol and
myself get in to this tightly guarded affair.

Once at the awards it was a goldmine. We were faced with three options
when we got in:

1. Drink, eat, and watch the awards,

2. Try get on stage as a part of someone's posse and unfurl a sign

3. Take advantage of the multitude of oblivious celebs and make the
people's voice heard with hand held signs.

Of course, we wanted to go for the hat trick, but we felt taking the risk of getting booted wasn't worth losing out on the other two options, so we focused on getting our pics. We had three variety of signs, and applied them as we saw fit:

I am Horrified:
Tom Arnold, Jessica Simpson, Jen Tilly

Hollywood, Congratulations, you're the greatest. Love, Hollywood:
Zach Braff, Jodie Foster, Thomas Hayden Church, David Duchovony

There is Hope:
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Laura Linney, Tom Brady, Michael McKean

Thomas Hayden Church summed up the evening for me. After we got our
picture with him, we asked if he was going to the after party at
Shutters. He responded swiftly and decisively. "Hell no! I'm just a guy from
Texas. I don't get into that kind of Hollywood bullshit."

To me, this was cool if only it had ended there. But wait, there's more... THC continued on talking about how phoney Hollywood is, and in contrast, how real he is, in such a ridiculous over the top way that by the time he was done all I could think was that this was some kind of persona his publicist concocted to distinguish him as a rebel Hollywood outsider ala Billy Bob Thorton.

When I looked down and saw the dirty work boots he was wearing with his very expensive designer suit, it sealed the deal for me. It wasn't an affectation of Hillary Swank or Jewel proportions, but it did just seem a bit much to hear such vitriol out of the man who starred in George of the Jungle 2.

www.kidprotocol.com

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars II

2005-03-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

From the Desk of Chris Jackson:

Normally, we don't comment on things as meaningless as celebrity sightings and parties, but since there are now countless hours of "coverage" of these events that are being presented to the public as entertainment/news, we feel it is our duty to let the public know the truth.

Friday Night --

K.P. and myself with operatives Brianna Biltmore, Shauwna Smith, and Krystal Light attended two Oscar parties. The first was a fashion show at Prey nightclub with Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, and Bruce Willis expected to attend.

The second was Hailey Duff's birthday party at Concorde. Both scenes resembled bad music videos : the first was like Paris Hilton's vision of "cool" (circa 1998) , the second was more along the lines of an underage night club, only with Andy Dick prominantly involved.

There were literally crowds of people trying to get in despite long wait lines for drinks, no complementary food, women with fake everything, and overheard lines like "My greatest fear is my agent doesn't recognize how intelligent I really am." Good thing your nightly newscast takes time out to mention that the "star studded" parties in Hollywood are happening.

If this is your idea of glamour or a good time: go to the noisiest, cheesiest, and most crowded club in the town nearest you, double the amount of people to make sure there's no room to dance or drink, and stand there with your friends for three hours. In lieu of entertainment, you can occasionally see a celebrity, although they will not see you. Sound like fun?

Around 1:00 we couldn't take it anymore and cut out to go to a dive bar in Silver Lake to get drunk, play pool, and listen to the jukebox.

Tomorrow: H.O.P.E. Attends the Independant Spirit Awards and
Katzenburg Party at the Beverly Hills Hotel

p.s. Check out the Wookie to the left of Kid Protocol.

www.kidprotocol.com

H.O.P.E. at the Oscars I

2005-03-01T10:25:00.000-08:00

A massive success was scored for H.O.P.E. and the good people of the world as operatives Kid Protocol, Oscar and Able Lemon, Action J, and Danny Diamond infiltrated the red carpet at the Oscars, the Independant Spirit Awards, the Vanity Fair Party, and Katzenburg's "exclusive" affair at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

How did they get in?

Let's just say Kid Protocol is all he's cracked up to be and H.O.P.E. has a lot of friends and fans in high places.

We've got a lot of exclusive information that we'll be posting here over the next week, so make sure you come back and see all the new "behind the scenes" looks at what isn't happening "behind the scenes." We'll have a day to day countdown, culminating in our Oscars 2005 report.

Halle Berry Knows What Stinks

2005-03-01T04:56:00.000-08:00

Halle Berry won a Razzie for being the worst actress of 2004 (for her performance in Catwoman), but unlike other winners like George W. Bush and Britney Spears, actually showed up to collect it. Highlights included her calling the movie a "piece of shit" and dragging her agent on stage and demanding that he "read the script first".

We at H.O.P.E. are always looking out for actors and actresses that are willing to see the crap that they've produced as what it is : crap. Hooray for Halle Berry.

link

Victory for HOPE!

2005-02-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

World Famous Party Crasher Kid Protocol joins forces with H.O.P.E.

2005-02-25T09:19:00.000-08:00

In the name of antiquating the notion of VIP guest lists and the velvet rope mentality, Kid Protocol is making the entertainment industry more accessable for everyone. Kid Protocol has crashed the Cannes Film Festival, Sundance Film Festival, Toronto Film Festival, various Hollywood premieres and can be seen on VH1's Red Hot Red Carpet: Party Crashing in Cannes

He's now lending his considerable talents to help the people of the world have a voice in their own entertainment. By exposing the hype machine that creates these false celebrities, he's letting the public know they aren't missing anything this Oscar weekend. Check out his website for more info, and stay tuned for updates from this weekend's look inside the parties you really don't want to be at or hear about.

link

Academy Awards Weekend

2005-02-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

From the desk of Chris Jackson:

This weekend you will see a massive amount of entertainment related coverage on the Oscar weekend and parties including countless television awards show specials, print stories and evening news features about the glamour and allure of these exclusive and elite parties.

Don't believe the hype. As someone who has worked in television and been to many of these parties I can tell you firsthand there is nothing of importance going on besides a lot of industry networking and celebrity back slapping with people you would never choose to be around if they were in your personal circle of contact.

Trust us when we tell you, you aren't missing anyting besides some free cocktails and hors deurves... or if you want to see for yourself, check back for Kid Protocol's take on the weekends happenings.

Hej på dig!

2005-02-25T00:16:00.000-08:00

Informationsministern skulle vilja välkommna alla våra nya fans i Sverige.

Vi här på H.O.P.E tror att dålig underhållning är ett problem, inte bara här i USA, utan över hela världen. Det finns inga ursäkter för Paris Hilton, eller företagen som gynnar/marknadsför henne.
Vi är glada att ha er ombord och tackar er för ert stöd.

Moby vs Jessica

2005-02-24T15:16:00.000-08:00

Moby's written a new song that slams stupid celebrities, and seems to have some very progressive views regarding the pitfalls of celebrity and celebrity worship. An excerpt:

"A lot of people feel inadequate when they compare their lives to the lives of celebrities, and I think that's really dangerous," he said.

Ironically, according to Moby, those who feel like they're missing out in life because they're not famous wind up envying people who are equally disenchanted.

"I know a lot of public figures, and a lot of them are not really happy," he said. "So, it's just a sad state of affairs when so many Americans obsess over the notions of wealth and fame [and] the people who are wealthy and famous are actually kind of miserable."

Oh yeah, and his new song is a slam against Nick and Jessica.

link

Lohan Family : the next reality T.V. show family we'll hate

2005-02-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

This picture couldn't possibly illustrate it better. Michael Lohan, the drunk-driving, car-crashing, estranged father of Lindsay Lohan is trying to get a reality show made in order to completely showcase the disintegration of his family. It's like Jerry Springer, but for 50-100 million over two seasons. He's threatened his ex-wife if she doesn't participate, and seems to want to air all their dirty laundry for money.

We haven't talked much about Lindsay Lohan because most of her "press" comes from her drinking or partying or dating. H.O.P.E. has no problem with celebrites drinking, partying, or dating.

We draw the line at when celebrities (or their sisters and fathers) try to transform their fame (no matter how fleeting) into pedestrian entertainment. These people don't care what sort of entertainment they're presenting to the world, they care about the fact that they can get away with it. They throw lots of money at getting their faces back on TV for 15 more minutes, and who suffers?

We all suffer.

link

The Oscars : At Least It's Not A Downmarket Scrum

2005-02-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

We've got mixed feelings about the Oscars, but is there any better venue for getting a message to every actor, producer or director in Hollywood? Keep an eye out for a very special H.O.P.E. message.

In the meantime, the Oscars have barred Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Pamela Anderson. The best part is that they've been banned to prevent the event turning into a "downmarket scrum". Heaven forbid.

Thanks to Ms. Denim for the heads up!

link

Misguided by Voices

2005-02-24T13:42:00.000-08:00

Let's start with a disclaimer: We are not in support of the PTC. At all. They back a lot of shows that are an awful waste of time. They also and speak out against shows not because of their quality, but rather because of their "moral offenses". Their presence on this blog is an illustrative one.

The parent's television council sits around and decides what they're offended by. Then they post clips on their site and ask viewers to get indignant and write to the FCC, or the show's advertisers. They also recommend sites that are "family friendly." If you're wondering about their criteria : They recommend 7th Heaven and they've got lots of problems with any show that mentions demons.

You know what's important about this site, besides the inherent laugh-at factor?

These people are getting it done. They're offended by sex or demons or the word "piss" being on TV, and they're writing in and giving these shows flack. They're making a change in our culture by not sitting around and complaining to one another. They are going to decide that American Idol (one of their recommendations) is great for your family, and they're going to tell your senator.

Are you sick of the way Paris Hilton is being marketed to us? Could you do without a sequel to Kangaroo Jack? Well then Join H.O.P.E. and help us! We've made great strides, but the reason the PTC can get shows pulled and changed is because they have a lot of people and money behind them. Maybe you've always been a little envious of the ability that groups like the PTC have to accomplish their goals.

We've got a devoted staff, members, and ideas.

What we need is you.

link

Star Wars Bores Star / Taxi Driver 2 : Weekend at Bickle's

2005-02-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

The Star Wars franchise and Robert DeNiro have a special place here at H.O.P.E. They were both really great, really original, and fun to watch. Then, in old age, they both started cashing in on their name and creating sequels/movies that are awful. Because of this dynamic, it is sometimes painful to bring their tepid choices to light...but in the end, our cause is more important than our misplaced feelings of nostalgia.

So Star Wars?

Ewan McGregor, who is about to star in the sixth and hopefully last Star Wars vehicle, had some pretty bad things to say about the last two. He called Episode II "unsatisfactory" and Episode I "disappointing and flat".

link

And Robert?

He is discussing doing a sequel to Taxi Driver. Yes, re-read that. This isn't DeNiro making a sequel to "Analyze This" for cheap laughs and a new boat. This is DeNiro deciding that while Taxi Driver may have ushered in a new age of American cinema, that now he needs to update where Travis Bickle is as an old man. For money.

link

Join H.O.P.E. Today!

2005-02-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

Join H.O.P.E. and help the American public and world get its voice heard against the Hollywood elite. No matter who you are, where you live, or what financial or social status you are perceived as having, you can make your voice heard and help.

There are two ways to become a soldier of H.O.P.E. Select whichever option you feel suits you best and e-mail us at HopeinAmerica@gmail.com

1) H.O.P.E. Supporter - Got some resources but not much time to contribute? H.O.P.E. needs financial support to fund future protests and events. Basic membership is $10 which will get you a membership card with your name on it and monthly updates that are exclusive to members . For an extra $5 we'll send you a members t-shirt as well.

2) H.O.P.E. Operative - Want to take a more active role? The H.O.P.E. operative is someone who is committed to bringing down horrible entertainment in their area. In order to join this way there is no financial contribution, but you must put on a H.O.P.E. event in your area or complete the missions list. H.O.P.E. Operatives will then receive a free, exclusive, H.O.P.E. Operative t-shirt and official H.O.P.E. membership card, as well as be kept in the loop and involved with national protests and campaigns.

If you have a project or proposal in line with the mission of H.O.P.E., we are always looking to fund motivated people in their efforts of fighting for good entertainment.

H.O.P.E. : not without detractors

2005-02-23T04:12:00.000-08:00

You may wonder if we get a lot of negative emails. The surprising truth is no, we've gotten thousands of emails of support and only a handful of negative messages.

Despite our worldwide popularity, someone out there has started a parallel universe anti-H.O.P.E. organization. We just received this shot across the stern:

"You and your followers should be ashamed of yourselves. These are artists putting their feelings and opinions out there, it is not for you to judge the way they do it and what they sing about. If it makes you feel good inside to bash this girl, Ashley Simpson, then you are truly awful people. This website sickens me, and I will hereby start a ban on it.

Sincerely,

Samantha
McCrea

of SGG Design

Here is a link to my petition.

http://www.petitiononline.com/1234586/petition.html

--------------------
A note in response, from our board:

As much as Samantha possibly has her heart in the right place, she's got us all wrong. We're not here to hurt Ashlee Simpson's feelings. We don't do what many other snarky entertainment sites do, which is bash at any celebrity that manages to make a misstep. We don't care if Lindsay Lohan is getting drunk in New Orleans every night, nor if Brad and Jennifer got divorced. These are their (and our) everyday rights.

The stars we profile are being used to promote substandard and usually awful entertainment. Or they're cashing in on previous successes to launch some new venture that is inexplicable. Or they're just creating vehicle after vehicle to deliver their own insipid and painful message to their audience. Most often they have simple made this choice : am I able to successfully get away with making this crap?

So do they have the right to do this? Yes. Do giant merged companies have the right to do this? Yes. Do those companies have legal rights that in the last fifteen years have been wildly expanded? Yes. Do they use these new rights to knowingly promote terrible movies, music, and literature because they think they can make a buck? Yes. Do they spend millions of dollars and hours in the pursuit? Yes.

We at H.O.P.E. and you reading this have those same rights, if not the same resources. We as an organization exist to highlight these terrible entertainers. We will never be against free speech, nor in favor of censorship. We will, however, give voice to everyone that does not have millions to go on an advertising blitz against Taxi. We will empower everyone that is sick of listening to Matchbox-20 but unable to secure time on a commercial radio station, and we will fight tirelessly against the government passing legislation that allows giant companies to abuse our public airwaves to promote their (not our) best interests.

-- Erik Illstorm

P.S. Our parallel universe enemy has received 2 signatures since its creation on 2/9/05. Don't think this is some abandoned project, though. We got the angry email just the other day.

Ashlee Pledge Update II

2005-02-23T03:46:00.000-08:00

From the Desk of Chris Jackson-

Myself and two H.O.P.E. operatives went to the Los Angeles show at
Universal City. We distributed 200 Pledges. 84 were filled out on the
spot and turned in. The rest will be sent to our offices with results to
be published.

One of the main things you should keep in mind when watching this:
Although the clip footage is humorous, it's meant more to be instructive.
Please keep in mind that although Ashlee, her grotesque father, and the
media conglomerates that push this crap deserve to be ridiculed and
held accountable, these are just silly kids and many of us were probably
like them once.

That being said, highlights:

1. Elvis Costello is weird
2. Acid Reflux is a serious disorder, though they laugh at the fact that she has it.
3. They are the biggest fans ( WELOVEHER!!!!! )

watch the movie

View the Ashlee Simpson Pledge Here

Ashlee Pledge Update

2005-02-22T19:06:00.000-08:00

The first in a series of reports from H.O.P.E. operatives distributing
The Ashlee Simpson pledge on Ashlee's final tour.

2/16/2005
The Grove Auditorium
Anaheim, California

{We apologize for the earlier mistake regarding the location}

by Mandy Morgan

It was a different scene than I expected. Even though I went to my
share of bad shows in grade school, and I knew her audience would be
mostly young girls, I guess I just forgot to what extent. The whole thing
had a very strange vibe. Maybe I'm getting old, but I felt more like I
was watching a "Tickle Me Elmo" phenomenon than anything. They just
seemed so young. I got the impression you could sell these girls diseased
diapers with the right marketing.

I mean, her audience was ALL young white girls, some with parents. And
by young I mean like 90% of the people there were girls between the
ages of 10 and 13 (and by white, I mean VERY white.) I remember going to NSync shows and it was much this way, but I guess I fell into Ashlee's
PR people's trick of portraying her as a punk rocker with a wide fan
base of music lovers. In that respect, the night was encouraging to me.
It validates the idea that her fan base represents a very, very, small
segment of the population.

Which brings the bigger question: why are 10 to 13 year-old girls
driving our culture? Why should the rest of us have to be subjected to
their wants and tastes? When I was their age, I sure as hell
didn't think my opinions or tastes were anything special, much less important enough to have major corporations jump up and take notice.

I guess the easy answer for why this happens is that young teenage
girls are a very easy segment of the population to market to. They're very
insecure, very much consumers, and very susceptible to the kind of
"what's hot" marketing the music industry thrives on.

Chris and H.O.P.E. have been hitting this hard, but I really think
it's important for the rest of us not to fall into this trap of believing
that Ashlee Simpson is some huge phenomenon. I can tell you firsthand
she's the exact same thing as any kiddie fad and the media needs to be
more responsible and treat her and her fans as such instead of poisoning
the entire music industry.

Please help join the cause. We're having a lot of fun and need every one of you!

Every other Blog on Earth : "Paris Hilton : Hacked"

2005-02-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

No links for this one, just visit CNN or MSNBC if you want to know more.

Thousands of people had their phone accounts hacked. Many celebrities' photos were looked through, and tons of important information was stolen. There's an investigation ongoing with suspects and blah blah blah. It'll be on Law and Order in no time.

What's getting all the press? PARIS HILTON WAS ONE OF THOSE THOUSANDS HACKED!

Just another reminder : They are covering what they want you to hear about, not what you are interested in.

Ashlee Simpson Pledge Video

2005-02-22T03:00:00.000-08:00

The first of the videos from our earlier explorations into the hearts and minds of Ashlee's fans. While some have found this clip humorous, we must insist that it is not our intent.

We believe that children like this music for the same reason that many of us listened to terrible music in our youth : the power of money and marketing. Children are not exposed to a variety of commercial music, and therefore have very small pools to choose from. These girls are not better or worse than we were at their age, nor are they worse or better than other children their own age.

We do not exist as an organization to crush the dreams of young girls and boys. We exist to bring light to the fact that crappy music is being shoved down the throats of everyone in this country. Thus this substandard fare is becoming acceptable through repetition, not merit.

watch the video

View the Ashlee Simpson Pledge Here

The Ashlee Simpson Pledge

2005-02-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

We at H.O.P.E. feel our work and the American public's efforts on the
Ashlee Simpson front have created a situation where the menace of Ashlee Simpson is officially over. With sagging ticket sales on her tour and the national embarrassments she's brought on herself, Ashlee has entered Milli Vanilli territory and is no longer viable commercially.

Her Yahoo buzz and Q rating (important measures for the talent impaired) are down and we believe the negative publicity has permeated all of the way to even disenfranchising her fragile fan base. That does not mean that she is the last vapid pop tart that will be marketed to us in
this way.

It is with this in mind we have launched the Ashlee Simpson Pledge that
will be distributed to Ashlee concert goers at every stop on this, her
last tour.

It was inspired by The Yes Men's USA Patriot Pledge.
(http://www.theyesmen.org/brochures/pledge-outside.jpg)

The concept behind the pledge is not to embarrass or make fun of Ashlee's fans, but to show how ridiculous these marketing campaigns are where these manufactured products are portrayed as musical phenomena with widespread support.

When you see the results of the pledge,it becomes crystal clear to anyone that Ashlee Simpson's career is nothing more than a marketing campaign that for a brief time effectively convinced children that Jessica's sister was what they should buy.

The pledge is a way to cement the concept for everyone without the
interest or initiative to see firsthand what really is driving the careers
of Ashlee Simpson, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, et al. The media
needs to take a responsible and healthy attitude towards guiding our
culture. Every day members of the media enforces their beliefs on the news. They make decisions on what to cover and not to cover, what they
consider acceptable advertising with moral and ethical considerations.

We believe they should start to take the responsibility of guiding our
culture more seriously from an artistic perspective as well.

Numbers, and Media Conglomerates, Sometimes Lie

2005-02-21T18:42:00.000-08:00

So the next time you see a "news" story telling you Jamie Lynn Spears (or whoever the next pop tart we're subjected to) is tearing up the pop charts and is the hottest thing since sliced bread, keep in mind all of the following products (sliced bread included) that really do huge numbers.

15,800,000,000 - number of diapers sold annually
837,000,000 - number of packages of hot dogs sold at supermarkets in 2004
77,000,000 - number of Osmonds records sold worldwide
43,000,000 - number of rat traps sold annually in the USA
25,000,000 - number of David Cassidy records sold
19,000,000 - number of earthworms sold annually by one wholesaler
10,000,000 - number of Milli Vanilli records sold
3,686,677 - number of Pachinko machines sold annually
3,500,000 - number of Ashlee Simpson albums sold

We don't have to hear about the hottest kids toys, shoes, or watches on
a daily basis in the news, even in the entertainment section, so why
do we have to hear about these similarly manufactured, lower selling,
products?

Why was the number of albums Ashlee Simpson sold a news story?

Son of the Mask : Rejected by all

2005-02-20T19:31:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard, they've made a sequel to The Mask. It has none of the stars, very little plot connection, and an entirely different creative team. Which is strange because you'd think that a sequel is made to flesh out or further explore a concept from the original. Or even to spoof the original. Maybe to have a different take on a theme? How about just to have a single iota of commonality to the original outside of a prop?

We've had several cynical H.O.P.E. members suggest that connecting this movie to the original Mask movie is simply a marketing ploy. That this movie was produced with the single-minded goal of making some money by quickly throwing together a substandard feature.

Well that better not be their mission. This dog isn't going to bring any money home, if the critics have anything to say about it. A handful of reviews:

By the time we're an hour in to Son of the Mask we've been tossed through the CG ringer and spit out on the other side with no steak to go with our soda. This flick is nothing but cacophonous and blithering eye candy...and the candy's not all that well-cooked to begin with. Try and count how many times we're treated to the "whirly-spinny" effect made famous by that most respected of thespians, Mr. Tasmanian Devil. That project might be the only way you'll stay awake throughout this terrible and ill-conceived little afterthought of a money-grab, in-name-only, CGI reel of a sequel.
--EFilmCritic

2.0/10 rating on IMDB

One presumes the only thing worse than making this disaster is actually watching it; wouldn't wish either on anyone.
--Dallas Observer

An irredeemable mess, a computer-animated Punch and Judy show without wit, heart or a single memorable performance.
--The New York Times

Icky and incompetent (special effects aside) in equal parts, this groaner makes 1994's "The Mask" look like something you'd study in a film graduate course at NYU.\
--USA Today

A harried, screechy film that goes nowhere at a breakneck pace, full of sound and furious slapstick overkill but devoid of wit.
--Seattle Post-Intelligencer

More Fallout From "Swept Away"

2005-02-18T10:37:00.000-08:00

We have a contact who was in attendance (almost two years ago) for the premiere of Swept Away, and it sounds like it was quite an affair.

"Everyone was mincing around like they were going to a wake... It was held at a relatively small theatre in Los Angeles, with no sort of pretense outside of Madonna and Guy's limo... Afterwards, people hurried to their cars with little to say about the horror they viewed inside."

That was so two years ago! Who still remembers that crappy movie? Well the stars apparently do. Madonna is getting another role but is working for no money whatsoever. She's working for free because she needs new movies under her belt to dispel the stigma of her husband's abomination.

Isn't it a little sad that their marriage has produced no children, so the only thing they've created as a couple was Swept Away? If our baby was that ugly we'd do whatever we could to distract people as well.

CORRECTION: They do have some babies, but there is no report yet on whether or not they are as ugly or tiresome as Swept Away.

link

Pauly Shore : "Pauly Shore is Dead"

2005-02-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

Pauly Shore is trying to shed his image as "the weasel" of MTV and trying to get dramatic roles.

That being said, has anyone struck more blows against the values and standards that we at H.O.P.E. hold dear than this beast? His every exploit has been a walking joke about what a low standard movies can attempt to attain.

Now he is trying again to revive his career. He's released a DVD called "Pauly Shore is Dead" and is filming a new reality show on TBS. We understand that people have the capacity to change, and that maybe (just maybe) Pauly can change. We are not willing to bet on it, though, and put forth this link as a warning for the future.

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Not Everything is Bad

2005-02-17T13:00:00.000-08:00

Jon Stewart managed to get Crossfire canceled (we know, we know : a gross simplification) and has managed to keep his show fresh and interesting.

This seems simple enough, but in the face of all the substandard media out there, we should consider this a 1-2 punch into the breadbasket of awful entertainment.

Our sincerest hopes that his new, extended contract allows him to show up on more bland and pedantic opinion shows, call them all dicks, and then watch as they all lose their jobs. That being said, we have heard Tucker Carlson (the dick) may be getting his own show.

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Lindsay Lohan : Caught the bug (synching that is)

2005-02-17T12:33:00.000-08:00

Wow, and we thought Ashlee was bad. (she is!) This really takes the whole "untalented" starlet thing into a whole new universe.

Lindsay Lohan, who released an album in the vein of Paris Hilton, Ashlee Simpson and Hulk Hogan managed to get on ABC to perform it. It is an explosion of awful. Anticlown is being kind enough to host this video, and you must check it out immediately. She is guilty of:

1. Bad song with lyrics that she may have actually written (this is a strike against it, folks)
2. BAD BAD Lip synching. Keep watching this video, b/c about 2/3 of the way through she just starts missing lines entirely.
3. Flailing. Nearly falling over. "Dancing."
4. Boring her fans to death. Check out their understated, and yet poignant stares of apathy.

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Kevin and Britney Curse Like Newlywed Sailors

2005-02-17T05:34:00.000-08:00

While Britney is terrible, the celebrity spawn of Britney is worse. We could, of course, be talking about her little sister...but alas we are speaking of another horror.

Kevin Federline. Britney has decided to not just marry him, but also to make him into a hip-hop star and blah blah blah blah. This guy is on the cover of Details. WHY!?

I guess because he's a good impregnator and managed to marry Britney Spears. They're in love, right? Well check out this just-barely out of context exchange and then follow the link for more.

Britney: Nothing gets to him ... Not my man. And that's why I married him, because he's not a shallow motherfucker Hollywood actor-guy.

Kevin: Yeah, baby!

Britney: I've met grown men in this business that are a lot older than Kevin and they think I'm this dumb blonde, because I'm quote-Britney Spears-unquote. Men in Hollywood are just -- oh, my God, it's horrible. Babe, am I talking too much?

Kevin: Yeah, go away. [He laughs and hugs her.]

Britney: Is it okay if I stay? I miss you when I'm not with you.

Kevin: I don't care.

Wow. I can't decide if it is stranger that Britney Spears quotes her own name or that this is about the most curse-free segment of the transcript we found.

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A Step in the Right Direction

2005-02-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

H.O.P.E.'s efforts are starting to take effect. Even here in Hollywood, Paris Hilton is starting to be recognized as awful. She got kicked out of the Concorde for her awful behavior, while her friends looked on and laughed. We're effective, but we need your support to keep fighting her.

The popularity of both her and her show stem from her unlikeability. She's a celebrity that gets a lot of attention because she's a terrible role model and a bright shining star of abhorrent behavior. Is this what you want to be popular? Is this what you want when people reminisce about the early millennium?

An acceptable outfit to an 80's party is Cyndi Lauper, to a 90's party its Kurt Cobain, and for the 2000's party?

Make sure that it is not Paris Hilton. Take a stand.

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Solidarity

2005-02-16T13:43:00.001-08:00

We aren't alone in the world. You aren't alone in your state, in your city, or probably even on your block. There are a lot of people out there that are sick of being marketed to, of being shouted at, and of being overloaded by advertisers.

And H.O.P.E. isn't alone either, there are a lot of voices out there that agree with us. That's why we have so many people that show up at our protests and are willing to help out with our exchanges and campaigns.

Here are a couple of our most recent favorites: an Ashlee Simpson Cartoon and an excellent summary of some notable celebrity offenders.

BSB redux

2005-02-16T09:59:00.000-08:00

So the Backstreet Boys have a "sound" right? Maybe we don't all like it, but they're legitimate musicians, right?

Well, according to the website, it doesn't really sound like it. There's a pretty big post about how they recorded the next album, and it is filled with gems. We at H.O.P.E. have tried to translate their unbelievable post into real english:

Sifting through a pile of 100-150 songs that were written for them, the band recorded 40

Excuse me? Recorded 40 songs? Sounds like they put their heart and soul into every one of them.
Translation: We don't write our own music, and recorded an absurd amount of songs so they could be focus-grouped down to a manageable 12.

With the pop music world moving in a more rock-oriented direction since BSB last released an album, Dorough said the extra time was necessary to make sure they fit in with the current scene

Uh..ok. This is from the Backstreet Boys' own Fan Blog. These are quotes from their own people.
Translation: They tailored the album after what was popular and would sell. They want money.

Their musical heroes, Boyz II Men, collaborated on “Jealous” and Dorough described the Underdogs-produced “Not No More” as “us meets R. Kelly.”

Backstreet Boys. Boyz II Men. R Kelly.
Translation: We're ignorant of the undertones here.

Many of the songs feature live instrumentation and the familiar multi-voice harmonies are less prevalent than in the past. Dorough, 31, said the group - which wrote or co-wrote 10 songs - has enough material that it could release separate pop/rock and R&B albums if it wanted to, but he suspects the 10-to-15-track final result will be a mix of the two sounds.

Translation: TRAINWRECK.

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We who are about to die, aspire to be you

2005-02-15T16:25:00.000-08:00

So Jennifer Lopez is going to have a big fashion show. You'd think everyone would be excited and be lavishing praise on her. There is a bit of lavishing going on, but not exactly the usual.

"We've only ourselves to blame because we've given celebrities these deranged feelings of omnipotence...she'll be doing brain surgery next."

"I would correlate J Lo's move to the runway with Sharon Stone's move to Davos" he said, referring to the actress' appearance at the World Economic Forum. "What in God's name are Sharon Stone's credentials to go talk at an economic forum?"

Ouch. So she doesn't have any business throwing her fashion show. Surely somebody has something good to say, yeah?

"We as consumers tip our hats to celebrities and say, 'You live the life we aspire to, so tell us how to dress,'"

Great. So celebrities get to do things they're not qualified for because we all want to be them. Is it a surprise that the everyday musings of bad celebrities are being made into news? There is an opinion out there that we aspire to be Jennifer Lopez. That we aspire to be known as a bitchy diva on set and that we aspire to make bad music and movies. That we aspire to be full of ourselves, and to make sure that every decision we make, no matter how banal, is news.

WE DO NOT ASPIRE TO BE JENNIFER LOPEZ!

Pardon Our Dust

2005-02-15T09:51:00.000-08:00

We're having a few technical difficulties here at H.O.P.E.

As soon as we get back and running, we'll tell you about our upcoming plans for Ashlee Simpsons' U.S. tour and the Oscars.

Oh Tom. . .

2005-02-14T23:11:00.000-08:00

We're against lip syched performances, and find them to be a rather ugly sign of the times. Unfortunately, sometimes our favorite actors do their own version of "lip syching".

How, you ask? Actors don't sing, so how can they pretend to do their job and "pull the wool over the eyes" of the audience? Actors may not sing, but they act, dance, emote, and pass drug tests under court orders. Faking any of these important tasks betrays the fans that pay to see them. Faking any of these important task by using a fake penis filled with someone else's pee? TRAVESTY!

Try to guess what aspect of acting Tom Siezmore was caught faking?

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p.s. We must admit, this article is not exactly our usual message here at H.O.P.E. It was just too good to pass up.